Do you ever feel like you've had enough Trigger warning

[Eyessoblue]

Hi, I'm at the point of feeling enough is enough. I've had EMDR recently which had worked but brought up a lot of unresolved questions, got told it was probably too triggering for me then get told I need intense psychotherapy which again is going ok but get told I'm with the NHS only entitled to 12 sessions then have to re apply and go back on the waiting list! Next week is week 12 so last one then back I have to go again just as I feel I'm getting somewhere it ends!  Told my therapist I'm totally p.off with it, but she tells me it's how the NHS works and how it has to go, but definitely I'm not ready to finish and when I re apply I can ask to see her again but will probably have to wait a while. I know there are waiting lists etc but just feel like I'm being pushed out when I'm just getting to where I need to be, already I'm fretting about it, drinking and eating more then I should and generally feeling crap now. Just feel the NHS does not get mental health at all and if they did they would realise how damaging that in between time for someone like me can actually be...... rant over but extremely p.off.

[Hope66]

Hi Eyessoblue,

Awful that you are in that situation - I really feel for you.  It must be so frustrating - and I'm glad you were able to come in here and express your feelings about it. 

It's good that you've felt you're getting somewhere with your current therapist though - and I really hope that you can get a lot out of the 12th session - I don't know if the therapist could talk with you about strategies to help you cope with the gap before you can engage with another therapist? 

- that icon really cheers me up when I see all those colourful little icons.  I know some people don't want to be hugged, but if you would like to know I am standing near you - then know that I am.

Hope 

[Three Roses]

  ugh! Aggravating. Hugs from me too if you want them.

[JamesG]

Well, I get that one. I'm reasoning that the costs of a private counsellor is worth it tho. But I'm arguing with myself that drinking is more expensive than the therapy and is pointless. one visit to the pub, a habit I fight continuously, is 10 pounds, the counselling is 50 a week. It's self-evident that the counselling is more valuable so I have to make that choice, or try to. 8 sessions is not much, but we can't change that. Personally, I'd say that any economies that can help the counselling happen is worth it, IF, they are a good one. There are some counselling options a lot cheaper than 50 tho.

[Eyessoblue]

Thanks everyone, James I get what you're saying, just upset as at last I've found someone who totally 'gets me' where the last ones haven't. She doesn't work privately but if she did I would pay her whatever it took, can't imagine trying to find another one and have to go through all the history etc again, in hindsight I should have just tried to find a private one in the first place and then could see her as much as I felt I needed to. I have also been told I have SAD and know that dreaded time of year is about to arrive which makes me feel really anxious as my depression gets really bad.

[JamesG]

I got mine through this

http://www.uktherapyguide.com/

first was a mistake, next one was a gem

[Blueberry]

Eyessoblue, I'm sorry that it seems so difficult in the UK. 12 sessions are not much at all for dealing with what we're dealing with. I'd be pretty teed off too  even if that is the system. And it's so hard to leave a T who's doing you good, who gets it, before you're ready to move on. 

[Eyessoblue]

Thanks blueberry yes finding it difficult to accept at the moment!! Thanks James for the link I will look into that.

[Traveller]

I was just reading your post & I can understand your frustration. Somestimes it can take 12 sessions just to begin to feel safe with a T ! It you do EMDR again, ask the T to review grounding & internal resources with you. She should be able to use EMDR to install resources & that may decrease the intensity. I have done a lot of EMDR & it was really helpful.
There is a good book called It's Not Your Fault" by Laura Engels. I found it helpful.

Hope things are getting better.

[Eyessoblue]

Thank you traveller I'll look at that.

[Blueberry]

I can understand your frustration. Somestimes it can take 12 sessions just to begin to feel safe with a T !

She should be able to use EMDR to install resources & that may decrease the intensity.

Yes, I've heard this too, though my T isn't using EMDR with me.

[Rainagain]

Eyessoblue,
Could the therapist you trust recommend someone who does private work? I have had very mixed results with therapists so a personal recommendation from someone good might be useful?
I had a GP once who described the mental health side of the NHS as an 'imperfect service', its not actually even trying to help everyone who needs help, doctors know this and mine was happy to explain how it is, very sad.

[dsgirl]

i know it probably feels like its one step forward now and two steps back but don't lose faith. You have a name for what's wrong, you have someone you've connected with, its just a matter of filling the gaps until you see your T again. In the meantime it might be no harm to speak to your doctor, and local NHS team by official letter lodging a complaint about the way the service is servicing you as an individual. It may not change the circumstances right now but who knows when reviewed in future it may actually address a valid  point for the way they deliver their service, to make it more successful. It's the same here a 10 month waiting list. Try to reach out and get additional support in the meantime. You're not alone in this, and it is very frustrating but there's hope for the future and that matters, hugs

[Eyessoblue]

Thank you for your response, I actually had a chat with my therapist today and she agrees the nhs policy is rubbish but it's about them showing that they can offer everyone appointments and waiting lists don't get too long. She has promised me that I will only have to wait 3 weeks and promises no longer and has said that I will absolutely see her again and when I get the phone call to tell them that it is only the therapist I see now that I will see again. This makes me feel so much better, I've really just got to that point in therapy where I've built up the trust and relationship and have started to open up so to end on this note would have been a really bad move, I think I am very lucky tho as I know on here of people who have gone back to the bottom of the list. I had another very intense EMDR session again and just cried for the whole hour but I feel like I'm at last releasing all that stored up anger and sadness and it feels liberating to finally be able to let it all out.

[Blueberry]

That sounds really good, eyessoblue! So sometimes there is a way of 'working the system' with NHS.