MMPI, aching wrists...may be mild trigger

[Wanttothrive]

30 years ago a counselor had me take what is known as the MMPI test in order to assess my mental health and any disorders. I was struck by one of the multiple answer questions which said something like: 'My wrists ache much of the time.'  I remember being struck by this because I had had aching wrists ever since I can remember. I went immediately to my counselor because I was afraid it was some precursor to suicidal thoughts. My counselor at the time told me it wasn't, but I cannot remember what he did tell me aching wrists were about.

Can anyone shed light on this? I plan on asking my T but will not see him until after Easter.

[Blueberry]

I used to have very weak and achey shoulders and arms. My hands aren't weak but if there was a lot of pain and weakness in my arms, the pain would spread into my hands too. My wrists were undoubtedly involved too, I just can't remember them anymore than my elbows in this context. I've heard various conjectures over the years, and have one myself too.

TRIGGER WARNING

One conjecture is: what I really wanted to do with my hand and arm was form a fist and punch my abusers to smithereens. But since I wasn't allowed to defend myself even verbally growing up, far less physically, this energy from the anger as well as my feelings of helplessness (and some other stuff but the word has gone thnx to amygdala hijack) got stuck in my arms and hands causing blockages, weakness and pain, which spread back up into my shoulders and even neck and chin.

End of Trigger Warning

Another conjecture is: as a small child if you need help or comforting, you reach up your arms to your parents (or other caregivers) to be picked up, and if they continually didn't do this, your feelings of frustration, hurt, sadness, desperation, neglect etc. would also get stuck in your arms. Sounds far-fetched maybe, but the body has a physical memory, right? The conjecture was also that this would continue to play a role, even if you were beyond the age where you would normally raise your arms to be picked up. I was 6 years old when things got really bad and stayed that way, but maybe there were already some of these feelings stuck in my arms? Things hadn't been really bad before, but not good either.

My own conjecture has disappeared, though it's not a new conjecture. So that just means it would be too much for me to write it down now. Oh, now it's back.         

I was criticised for more or less everything, my whole being, basically. One thing that I needed a lot of help with as an adult was expression of anything. Verbal expression was the easiest for me, but not easy, whereas making something with my hands? Even sticking a poster on the wall or writing a word with a coloured pen - no way. Or if yes, then I'd have to go and lie down for hours afterwards because it had exhausted me so much. Creative expression not allowed. Doing things with hands (other than writing and basic housework) not allowed. And even if done, always open to criticism or worse, tons of ridicule - obviously as an adult this was deep down in my feelings, and as a child, adolescent, the criticism and ridicule were always there, part of my life in nuclear FOO.     

  TRIGGER WARNING!!!       

In body therapy I once had to draw a picture of myself, outline only. In places the outline was a bit shakey, or not very definite, but the one place where there was absolute clarity was the ends of my arms. I'd drawn them as if my hands were cut off at the wrists. There were no hands, there was just a very definite and thick line.

I hope some of this may help you  - in time - to come up with conjectures on your own wrist pain.

You could also try posting in the physical symptoms thread. More people might see. Or maybe you've read there already and nothing helped.

[Three Roses]

 

[Wanttothrive]

Interesting, Blueberry.

I will post this in physical symptoms. Good idea. Thank you!