Bad couple of days ....

Started by Boatsetsailrose, August 07, 2016, 03:06:36 AM

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Boatsetsailrose

Hi
I'm staying at a 'friends' currently and I've found the past couple of days hard, very uncomfortable and disappointing ..
This is a friend that I don't know too well I've just met for dinner a few times over the past couple of yrs and this is my 3rd time staying with her.
It became apparent on this trip that she is angry, irritable and snappy in her communication..also she seems controlling and unable to bend and compromise ... All of this leads me to conclude that she is disrespectful of me and uncaring
My dilemma is 'am I over reacting ? Am I taking it personally when it's really nothing to do with me ?
Or is it perfectly justifiable to feel and think how I do ?

So on Friday I came to her house and initially was fine ... She then wanted to go out ( and that was OK by me ) we went to a pub and stood outside , music was playing and dancing etc . It got really cold and I felt miserable but wasn't able to say I wanted to go inside - I didn't feel that would be met well .... ( we are both in aa so don't drink
On the Saturday it was gay pride day and I wanted to walk in the parade when I asked her she was snappy and said 'I'm not I'm not gay ( I do wonder if she has unresolved sexuality issues ?
As Im fairly new at coming out it felt important to me ... But hey it was walk it on my own
I called her on the day as I was out and we were to meet up she was snappy on the phone about us meeting up and when I tried to be involved in the plan she was having none of it
When we eventually met up there was an Icey reception and it took some time to 'warm up'
She was adamant that she was sitting at the main stage and not moving - I went off for a bit to look at the festival
She spent the whole time just people watching , judging and looking down her nose
I had a problem with my eyes ( irritated from eye lash glue and it got really bad - I had to do and find first aid but yet she still was glued to sitting at the front stage
Later in the evening we moved spot and she wanted to go near to a skip which was a huge bin ...
When I said 'shall we move forward away from the bin ' she was snappy and said 'well does it smell ' I said 'no' she replied 'well then ' but it's a bit weird standing next to a bin - I said ' she replied
'You can move if you want ' with that I stepped forward a bit , I was fuming something snapped inside of me and I thought 'I'm either going to have a go at her or I can leave - and so I said I needed to go due to my eyes ( which was partly true ...
As I walked away I was so glad to be away from her - her company of the last 2 days was just unbearable
I'm trying hard to have compassion for her right now as I write this but I'm angry and feel I've been a bit abused these past couple of days - controlled and disrespected ...
I don't feel I'm in ef just feels it's the reality of her projections

Boatsetsailrose

As I read what I've wrote it doesn't really tell of how snappy I've found her communication. - it's been one thing after another -

Three Roses

 :hug: :hug:sorry to hear of your rough days :(

She certainly sounds snippy! Is there anything going on in her personal life that could be stressing her? I know when I'm preoccupied things come out much differently than I intend.

Do you feel comfortable asking her about it?  Without hearing from her, you won't know what it is really about....

Boatsetsailrose

Thank you three roses
Yes that is true ...
I may speak with her a bit later when emotion died down -
But I may not as I'm not sure she would respond well ...
Um will give it some time --
I leave here today and go to another friends so ... A new day :)

Blessings to you