T not replying to text - is this wrong??

[Sienna]

Hello everyone,

I thought id put this question in this section *Relationships with others*, because I'm talking about the relationship i have with my T.

Little background on situation:
X with narcissistic traits broke up with me *again* and i cant go back to live with my parents, so he let me stay in his place till i was sorted with my own place to live.
He did some bad stuff- scared living with him, was putting in healthy boundaries, to protect myself-
T said i was doing all the right things.
She said he is doing the things he is doing to purposefully hurt me.

The last straw happened- i won't go into it,
but i left his house in a panic.

I slept on the sofa at a friends, (who i know likes his own space and wouldn't want me to stay. He didn't offer more nights there)
2 other friends kindly let me stay at theirs, and i rang the women refuge centre and they told me they couldn't do anything for me until monday.
It is Monday today, so I rang back and left a message as their lines were busy.  Im still waiting for them to return my call.

I didn't know if going to a shelter was the best thing.
i was unsure of weather i was being silly not to go back to that house.
I was wondering if i felt unsafe due to reasons that are more about my past, and i was wondering if anyone else who was enduring psychological abuse from partner with Narcissistic traits would freak out as much as i did, even if they didn't have the past i have had.

I don't know if this is narc abuse from FOO and him, but i cant tell what is what and never have been able to, and i have not trusted my own perceptions for so long, so like a child, i don't know what to do.

T said she will ring me in the morning as she was busy all of Friday.
I am not sleeping well. Taking me ages to get to sleep, mind buzzing etc. too adrnalised to sleep, and so i finally go to sleep, but accidentally slept through her call that morning.
I text her to explain what happened.

She hasn't replied to my text- but i can see that she has read it because it says *read* at the bottom.
I don't know what the rules are regarding boundaries with therapists and clients.
I feel like I've just *missed my chance* and  I know she isn't a *friend* who can say, ok we all make mistakes, i understand, ill call u back when i have a moment.
Its her job.
I was just wondering if you guys know what the deal with this might be- regarding her not responding to my message explaining why i missed her call, and that I'm sorry.

I thought that at least a text saying weather she could call or couldn't would be the right thing to do, as i got back to her-
i know it might look to her like I'm not that bothered about the call, but i don't think my voice message or the text (that i wasn't sure sent due to area till later) conveyed anything but being really bothered.

Maybe I'm a little paranoid that I'm attracting others who are narcy, or who don't really care and i don't want it to continue.
I just want to know if you guys think there is something *iffy* with her not replying to my text.
Thanks for any help or input- most appreciated.

[Dutch Uncle]

I didn't know if going to a shelter was the best thing.
i was unsure of weather i was being silly not to go back to that house.
I was wondering if i felt unsafe due to reasons that are more about my past, and i was wondering if anyone else who was enduring psychological abuse from partner with Narcissistic traits would freak out as much as i did, even if they didn't have the past i have had.

I don't know if this is narc abuse from FOO and him, but i cant tell what is what and never have been able to, and i have not trusted my own perceptions for so long, so like a child, i don't know what to do.

I'm pretty sure you are not being silly about leaving the house pronto.
You were scared and ran of in panic: I bet there was every reason to panic at the time.
Never mind if it's FOO-stuff, his narc stuff or a mix.
You acted to protect yourself from hurt or harm. 

Excellent you are now looking for alternatives, and the shelter is a fine one.
Call them every hour. Leave a message every time the lines are busy. The are a shelter for people in distress like you are now. They can handle you're repetitive calling. 

Regarding your therapist:
She might have clients around and scheduled calling you later.

From personal experience I know how annoying something like this can be. I've also felt 'held at bay' by my psychologists at some point, she had to cancel an appointment, but as it turned out she had complications with her pregnancy. It still came at a very inconvenient time for me too!  (I kept my cool though  . That did take an effort  )

Keep trying, and if one of the two eventually works out today, I hope you can feel good about that. Even if no solution will be reached today, you did your best, which is something you can take credit for.

Wishing you the best of luck. 

[Sienna]

Hey Dutch,
thank you so much for your validation, and for letting me know that you don't think I'm being silly.
I never even thought about this, so thank you.
You acted to protect yourself from hurt or harm. 

Thank you for measuring me that calling lots for the Shelter is fine.

Your right, it is annoying and also at an inconvenient time. Its great that you understand how that feels - but not for you if you know what i mean.

Im sorry that happened to you too. It drills home the fact, (even though i don't call a lot at all - never called her)..that they are your *therapist*, and that they cant care in the way that you want them too, in the way that you need them too.
Its annoying because i really needed to talk to her...and I won't be seeing her this week cos its her week off.
Im not hopeful that she will call back- i just have a feeling that she won't.
You talking about her pregnancy complications, does make me think as i have been trying to bear in mind, that maybe there is a good reason why.
Im really not sure i could caller or text her again.
Well done for keeping your cool.

Thanks a lot for wishing me luck Dutch. You are so supportive and it means the world to not feel alone and unsupported.