T availability between sessions?

[Dyess]

Just talking to some people about this topic and it seems to be a very common situation where T's are bringing in new clients and giving them home numbers, email addresses, emergency numbers and encouraging the clients to check in between sessions. Then at some point putting a stop to all of it. Seems a little cruel to me. My first T was like that, had no idea why the sudden stop happened. This T I have now don't want any emails/calls between sessions unless it's about an appointment. Seems a little odd to. She does well in the sessions but sometimes I need to talk to a professional and I have questions. I guess that's why I post so much odd stuff here. But it would seem a T would want to know about some of these questions I have. So how's the availability with your T?
I know we all need boundaries but this seems a little harsh.
It's also a little triggering of abandonment issues. I dunno. Maybe I'm just tired and whiney

[eva]

hmm, I think I see where you're coming from, Trace. probably, much depends on where you are in the therapeutic journey:  I had an extra long initial session with new t, so that we could do a lot of q and a,  mapping out the road ahead, etc. or if you hit a particular period of crisis/ confusion/changed circumstances, a therapist might be willing to book some extra time to re-evaluate, re-group?  worth asking - otherwise, I would think it better, on the whole, to have very clear peripheries; otherwise, when t is just not available/tired/human we interpret rejection?

I haven't encountered therapists who were available ad hoc -  quite interesting but perhaps not a good idea, in my view. therapy being a very unique process......  my new therapist spent some time discussing with me what are my "holding and help" spaces between sessions
are there any good peer support services near you? best of luck and I would say - do continue to post your "odd stuff" because so much in our hearts and heads is odd and just mangled, from what we lived out: what else to do? the confusion of it all is deeply unsettling and clarity is one of the treasures we might be ardently seeking: even just the clarity of saying to ourselves - "well, this doesn't make sense right now - yet: so I'll just ease up and wait and see..." life is messy but it's not all "my stuff."  (my bad.....)
and meanwhile, here we are.   hugs -Yvette

[Dyess]

Thanks for the feedback. I have been using an online counseling service and that has worked out well. But thinking about letting that go soon. The service is very reasonable, $99 a month and I talk to a counselor once a day maybe more. I can type in as many entries as I want and she gets back to me on these issues that day. I wouldn't say it's really counseling, maybe more of just discussing issues with a professional and getting good feedback. I had tried one other counselor at this same place and we were not a good fit. But this one seems very intelligent and aware of issues people deal with with trauma. But are we concentrating too much on finding the cure and not letting the body and mind be in the here and now? Makes me wonder sometimes.

[eva]

that sounds like a really good form of support, Trace, especially if you're in a phase where there's a lot "coming up" or a lot of changes going on, etc.  I thought I'd also mention that yesterday I attended a peer support group - and I feel so, so much better and more connected today, even after just one session. I don't think I'd fully realised how very isolated I'd become, and how much impact that can have, even scrambling perceptions.  maybe a similar group could help? and yes, I think sometimes we can try and force it, as you say, rather than being with our experience and pacing ourselves more naturally. take care of yourself.

[Dyess]

I don't do well in group settings, but glad it works out for you. We all needs to find what works for us because of the complexity of this there's not a one size fits all treatment. It may take a couple, or more, types of treatment to help any or all of us. I think at some point I will drop the online counseling. But for right now it serves a purpose of answering questions in a reasonable time. Sometimes I just have this sense of urgency of knowing the answer to something. Anyone else feel that way?

[eva]

hi Trace - I'm still online, was just about to check out but saw your response, so thought I'd just quickly respond also. yeah, fair enough re groups... I do understand. for sure, there is no one size fits all..... and just to say: the sense of urgency to resolve? yup, yup, yup: I think partly my brain is trained to crisis and I think I must must must get a solution right now - or disaster is imminent if things aren't fixed. practising some mindfulness and the concept of taking my time - that does help me.  unlearning and re-learning and not feeling constantly crisis-driven. (as if all of life was just one big crisis) something like that

take care. Y

[Dyess]

Crisis driven is a hard one to break, so much anxiety, tis a bit overwhelming to say the least. Plus there's all the external factors of terrorist, the racial violence, political terrorism hate election time. All this along with my past can make me pretty fragile at times and I hate it. Being in the here and now is not as easy as it sounds. Takes a lot of practice. During a dissociation event is the hardest. Depending on how deep into it you are. I have been so deep it really scared me that something more was wrong. Then the even hangovers. It's a lot to deal with for sure.

[Sienna]

Danes, I dont think you are just being winey at all.
It makes sense that those with a history of a traumatic childhood would struggle with these things. i know i do.

I think its not good to rely on your therapist completely...but-
we do need support (i need support), as i never had it from my parents, or anyone...and have trouble listening to my inituition- telling me what i should do and also have trouble handling intense emotions.
Those around dont understand, dont know how to support me....T seems like the best person.

It seems wrong to me that your T didnt say anything to you about the interaction between you guys needing to lessen.
Have you talked to her about it?
I know that it might be hard to bring it up.

Im concerned when you say that you feel you need to talk to a professional. Do you feel that the help your T is giving you isn't enough or isn't adequate enough?
its ok if so.

I am concerned that she suddenly pulled away, and i think you deserve to know why.
It could be for good reason (but she should have communicated that to you), or it could be her own issues, too busy...who knows unless they tell us.
I would encourage you to talk to her about this if you can.

A trigger for abandonment issues = most definitely.
Im so sorry you are struggling, this sounds really hard.
I am glad you posted about this.