hi everyonr! new member 😁

[scanlon2014]

So I have been searching for a supplier group for people who are in a relationship with a c-ptsd victim! I grew-up with very little love or positive attention leaving me to fend for myself as well as getting the idea  that my feelings/opinions where not important hammered into my head. As a result of the I kept everything bottled up for 25 years so I didn't have to get a guilt trip laid on me about everything! I have learned the skill of doing what it takes to get through life and not give up, as hard as it is sometimes when life does not stop with the hardships, I still keep trucking along. Well in 2010 I met a man with a wonderful heart and in 2011 we got married. He was seriously abused by his adoptive parents from 2 yr old to 18 yrs old both mentally, physically, and nutritionally, ending with being locked in his bedroom solid for 8 yrs. This left him with several disorders and handicaps, one of them being C-PTSD and another being that is lacking any skills needed to get by in life. I am the only person that makes an effort to understand and support him. What is hard to handle is that he has very high expectations for me in everything I do and I can't learn from mistakes as each experience is a different reaction from him, and he constantly thinks I am going to leave or do something negative towards him as that is what everyone in the past has done. He all ways wants me around too and wants to know where I am going. I know this is all part of what he went through growing up but it still makes it really hard.

We also have a 2 yr old son who is a whole new experience for daddy and I am very proud of him for how he is handling being a daddy! There are times he has a really hard time but he is doing good non the less.

I need a place to come to and get support and advice in this awhile situation so I look forward to getting to know people and forming positive relationships! Also he went to a therapist in 1998, laid out everything he went through (which is a HUGE step for him!)  and was told to suck it up and move on! He is finally open to finding another therapist I just have no idea how to go about finding one that is truly knowledgeable about what he has!

Thank you

[pawprint76]

Hi, Christa! I'm sorry that therapist said such a horrible thing to your husband. That clearly was an individual who passed the social work/therapist boards by the skin of her teeth! Also I'm sorry that your husband has been through so much, and you as well. Sounds like you both are on the path to wellness. It is odd to never know what "normal" is. I suppose you just have to grind out what normal is for you and move on )

[Kizzie]

Hi Scanlon and a warm welcome to OOTS    WE don't have a lot of people on this board who are in a relationship with someone whgo has CPTSD, the majority of us suffer from it.  You are most welcome here though and hopefully members will  be able to pass along some insights into what having CPTSD is like that will be helpful for you. 

To start, you can go the "CPTSD and Others"' section and you'll find some relevant posts.  We also recommend Pete Walker's site - http://pete-walker.com/.  He's a therapist in the US who has CPTSD and treats it as well, so he knows it from the inside out and vice versa. Your H might find his book "CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" resonates with what he is dealing with as an adult.

  to you both