Greetings

[hummingbird510]

greetings,

I'm a Bay Area native and mother of three, young children, who just stared divorce proceedings after a 10 year marriage with a N, who used sever emotional, verbal, and financial abuse tactics.

My mother is a Narcassist and with the help of painful, yet eye opening therapy, I beginning to fit the puzzle pieces together -- mainly why I stayed and subjected myself to such a painful and loveless marriage.

I'm trying to be strong and hold down the fort. My soon to be EX has basically physically and emotionally abandoned the family. I realize now that even though he is out the house, the damage still occurs through child custody, threats to cut off money, etc.

I find myself tired and numb often. I also have anxiety and have episodes of clinical depression.

Long story short, I want to learn, heal, grow, and hopefully create a life much more fulfilling and conscious than the one I've lead for the past 3o some odd years.

Very interested on how to parent while coping with CPTSD and all things related to self love and self care-- not a strong point.

Thanks.

[Dyess]

Welcome and hats off to ya for raising three kids, wow. There's a lot of info here , just look around and find what interests you. It can be pretty overwhelming reading all this stuff and people's stories so don't burn yourself out reading too much too soon Again welcome.

[Dutch Uncle]

Hi hummingbird510 

What a history you have had. So tough on you. 

Big changes made already, and with the divorce coming through more to be had and experienced in the near future. 

I hope and wish you'll find the site and community here supportive and an aid in your process.

Welcome.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hello hummingbird
Welcome aboard - I find this forum so helpful and supportive
I can identify with re doing the type of person who was a parent -through relationship  I hear it is very common -
I too have just ended a long relationship he wasn't abusive but emotionally withholding and it was painful -
It was a shock but relief to be out of it and whilst scarey my life is opening up

Quote
'Heal and grow '
'Create a life much more fulfilling and conscious '
What a lovely intention to set and commitment to make to ourselves

I am not entering another relationship for at Least a year time to focus on me -
I feel done with the type of relating I was doing before - so dull - so boring
Co dependence has been a big part of my story and its great to see it all clearly and work with it daily

Are u still seeing your therapist ? Is it very helpful ....
Being more conscious is good ⭐️🌝Isn't it ...🌷!!

It's Autumn here in the UK and the trees are golden -
And with each day am learning that life can be golden too when I am fit inside myself