Hi

[GlennMD]

I was the classic "fixer" personality---even when I was sent to Iraq as a senior advisor---and all overlain on a classic set of early life events. In Iraq, I finally found more than I could ever fix; a set of facts and events which eventually was diagnosed as combat-related PTSD. I have been in therapy (meds, mindfulness, CBT and Groups) for almost two years. As I have made progress in everything from grounding to trigger, I still find myself bogged down with what I guess are early-life and attachment issues.

I have been reading up on so-called C-PTSD, and contemplating it as much as I can through the fog of my meds (Gaba, Paxil, etc..). As hard as it is to remember (and accept), I think this is my track.

Maybe I will learn something here?

[arpy1]

Hi,  GlennMD     Welcome.

i hope so too! and at the very least that you will find a bit of support and a wide variety of people who 'get it'.

[Dutch Uncle]

Hello GlennMD, 

Thanks for sharing part of your story. What a tough spot you've been in, in combat in Iraq. I hope and wish the defense department takes good care of you. Hard it is indeed to discover that early life events may still contribute to symptoms seen in cPTSD.

I hope and wish you will this site and community helpful in your recovery.
Feel free to share, participate or just read and take in.

Welcome,

Dutch Uncle.

[Dyess]

Welcome GlennMD and I hope you find so help here from the experiences of the others. There's a lot of information here and you will see we have common threads, one is that we understand and are here to help. I too am a fixer and this CPTSD has thrown me for a tail spin also. Again welcome and make yourself at home.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi
Quote
'Early life and attachment issues '

Yes indeed and how they can affect us far longer than when they developed -
I am 42 yrs and even after 20 yrs of therapy - healing - development work it is Now that I finally see and feel am getting more on top of a true solution since identifying with cptsd - complex being the diagnosis and v grateful that other humans can and have helped me.
I am now out of all addictions that I was using and that has been key to my recovery
I was very lucky ( or about due as was assigned child trauma therapist who I worked with and felt for the 1st time someone who really 'got ' my issues - we worked on attachement stuff - how I relate / or don't to others - emotional regulation work ( a big part of our condition and my values and beliefs that I held / hold towards my self
I am also finding Pete walkers book ( which is recommended a lot from others here and it is such a wealth of information and insight into the condition
Being quite new at this I am just learning and do get overwhelmed  -  have moments of remembering I actually have a disorder through child trauma and not that I am just a defective weird person who has problems functioning in the world ..
There is also 'out of the fog ' forum which is to talk about and learn what type of parents we had / have and I hear others find this v helpful
I wish u all the best this forum is invaluable for me and I have found I come here with any issue and get support and others experience to help -
I am so glad I found this site 👍🌝

[tired]

if you're like me, you'll learn that the devil is in the details. write things down in plain english and it comes to the front of your mind and then you can sort it out.  words make things real and horrible but they make them manageable.  i can easily read a book about crime in gory detail but the details of my own past are just a grey blob in my mind.  if i could put it into words it would probably seem just as easy to handle as a patricia cornwell novel. 

i have mom issues, i've been through war in the middle east, i've been abused, i probably have a combination of high iq and learning disabilities.  i have ocd and add and ptsd and yet i don't feel like there's actually anything wrong with me.  i mostly have a problem accepting rage against my mother.

i need medication but i'm only willing to take ritalin which is making me ramble now so i'll stop.