Two new poems after another failed relationship

[RJ]

Fawning Mind

Fawning mind
ignores the cues,
lulled to sleep,
it abandons you
until you're fully
drained inside.

Circuit overload,
breaker trips.

Now the triggered mind,
wakes up to justify,
adding up the balance sheets,
all fired up to
litigate and prosecute,
to say this hurt
is permissible.

A broken soul,
split in two,
in an endless
civil war,
fighting to find a place
that validates
and heals the
childhood wound
inside of you

When innocence at play presumes its guilt


It is sad to be punished
for asking to be seen.

It is sad to be punished
for asking for what I need.

It is sad to be punished
for wanting to be heard.

The child inside gets triggered,
overwhelmed in a tidal wave of emotions,
and is swept away,
washed ashore alone once more.

Bewildered with the loss of self,
innocence at play presumes its guilt,
taught that its needs are so huge

they shook the earth
to bring about this mammoth tidal wave.

A lesson learned,
the message clear:

become so small
you disappear.

Needs so soft,
they need not ever be heard

back home again
on desert island.

[Harorudo]

Fawning Mind

Fawning mind
ignores the cues,
lulled to sleep,
it abandons you
until you're fully
drained inside.

Circuit overload,
breaker trips.

Now the triggered mind,
wakes up to justify,
adding up the balance sheets,
all fired up to
litigate and prosecute,
to say this hurt
is permissible.

A broken soul,
split in two,
in an endless
civil war,
fighting to find a place
that validates
and heals the
childhood wound
inside of you

When innocence at play presumes its guilt


It is sad to be punished
for asking to be seen.

It is sad to be punished
for asking for what I need.

It is sad to be punished
for wanting to be heard.

The child inside gets triggered,
overwhelmed in a tidal wave of emotions,
and is swept away,
washed ashore alone once more.

Bewildered with the loss of self,
innocence at play presumes its guilt,
taught that its needs are so huge

they shook the earth
to bring about this mammoth tidal wave.

A lesson learned,
the message clear:

become so small
you disappear.

Needs so soft,
they need not ever be heard

back home again
on desert island.

You're poetry is quite beautiful and well made I think. I'm sorry your going through a hard time at the moment going through breakups is hard. No one ever stays long in my life so I have no social life nor love interests. I think I'm either too much for someone or weird and not worth there time. Regardless of that I'll always be myself 100% and some people don't like that. If I have friends or a relationship I'm fine alone, since everyone hurts me other than family in a way.

P.s I hope you feel better soon it may be hard for a while but I believe in you! Just got to take one step at a time.
*Sending you good and positive vibes your way*

[RJ]

Thanks for the read and the kind words Harorudo.

Yes! I'm too much, a phrase often repeated in my life, or I'm sorry I'm not enough for you. Tough to hear and tough to process.
I think I become too much when I've erased or abandoned myself and then when asking for my needs it becomes overwhelming for my partner.
I'm hoping to learn to be 100% myself. I congratulate you for your bravery to be 100% you.