Newbie clergy abuse survivor with CPTSD

[8888]

Hi, I'm new!  I'm a survivor of clergy sexual abuse that was ongoing in my early childhood.  I'm also disabled and currently living in a group home which has only made the CPTSD worse.  I'm struggling to cope day to day.  I hope to meet others here who understand.  I know the group home thing is kind of unique but hopefully I can relate to some of you on other things.   

[Hope67]

Welcome 

[zen_racer]

Hello 8888, welcome to OOTS.  I can't exactly relate to sexual abuse from clergy, but I am not religious and spent over 10 years installing digital church organs.  It was the worst job of my life, and certainly not always, but I was often treated pretty badly because I was not one of them.  I was treated extremely badly by the company I worked for doing that job, which prided itself on being a christian run company.  I've had quite a few major injuries due to that job, a few of which will never fully heal.

[NarcKiddo]

Welcome. I'm sorry you suffered that abuse and are living in a group home that is making things worse for you. I have no experience of group living as an adult but I went to boarding school as a child so I guess there may be some overlaps. At any rate feel free to post about matters related to the group home if you want to - people here are very understanding and supportive even if experiences are very different.

[Alexandra]

Hello 8888;Welcome , glad you are here .I am so very sorry that you were abused by a clergy member, it is not only, physical ,and emotional, but spiritual abuse as well. We all understand being abused by people whom we should have been able to trust, I have a disability, so I know how difficult that is to deal with, every day . I get triggered quite easily , so I can, understand  how a living situation, can trigger CPTSD .

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to Out of the Storm 8888! 

I think betrayal by people we see as trustworthy is just so much worse than when it is someone who is openly dodgy, cruel, untrustworthy. I'm sorry that for you it was a member of the clergy.  I don't know if it tainted your faith or religious beliefs along with causing you to mistrust clergy and people in general, but if so then it's a double loss for you.

Glad you're here and I hope you find this community does get what you may be feeling/struggling with because of your abuse. 

[8888]

@hope67 Thank you!

@zen_racer That stinks, I hate when "Christians" don't act very Christ-like.  Or that some people are just cruel I should say since you consider yourself non-religious.

@Narckiddo Thanks for sharing, yeah could definitely be overlaps.

@Alexandra Thanks for understanding.

@kizzie Thank you, I totally agree.  It has some impact on my faith and also I can't worship in the way I want to anymore due to CPTSD getting in the way.