Lost a friend today

[JenWest987]

I woke up this morning to a text breaking a friendship. I just explained yesterday to this person that being accepted and not rejected in friendships is what I need. But ppl are too transactional to be anything more than surface deep. I don't act. I don't play games. I'm authentic and expect it in return. I don't think that's too much to ask. But nothing u do helps me maintain friendships. Why does my inner critic always proven right. How am I supposed to disarm her when stuff like this happens.

[zen_racer]

I don't have any good answers for you. I've always had issues with making friends or keeping them. Once I learned about cptsd, that pattern in my life made more sense. But I don't have anything on how to do it differently. I've only know. About cptsd for about 2 months now, and I haven't come back around to figure anything out about why it's been so difficult. I imagine I'm at least half the problem, if not more. I think I started cutting people off when they'd do things I didn't like too easily. I'd believe that people directly acted against me, but I may have been projecting and responding to emotional flashbacks rather than what was actually going on. And some people just suck.

Ultimately, I think we probably do cause issues based on having never learned what a healthy relationship looks like, and because we started being hyper vigilant looking for problems. I think the combination often makes us seem less genuine to other people, because we are playing roles we learned were safe.

I'm sorry I don't have answers, but you're not alone in having problems.