Zen_Racer's Recovery Journal

[sanmagic7]

It's making me wonder if maybe when emotions start coming back, and I immediately think they are bad emotions ... maybe it's that being emotionally numb for so long makes any emotion feel overwhelming, so even if it's a positive one I feel like it's bad.

hey, ZR, this actually happens to me.  all those emotions we've had to store away for when we're able to manage them, when they come popping out it can seem like a lot.  i do believe our brains numbed our emotions as a protective maneuver cuz we couldn't possibly have managed them at the time.  and i, too, have physical places where my emotions lay.  the body does indeed keep the score.

may i encourage you to let out those tears.  to my mind, they are filled w/ poison (or toxins, as my T says) from everything we've had to hold inside all this time.  when we cry, we are releasing crapola that we've had to stuff down in order not to be overwhelmed at the time. 

i'm really glad you felt better after your EMDR session.  i have no doubt that will continue.  good for you for venturing into those waters.  love and hugs