NPD mother

[Alexandra]

Hello ; Having read threads, I see that others had an NPD for a mother,as well ,I had only some idea , the treads have been a real eye opener for me as to how terrible NPD mothers are ,they all abuse in the same,ways ,I say, yes, ,yes, to what others have posted ,it happened to me , my so-called mother made me feel like I was crazy, reality meant nothing to her, I caught her in lies about her life and past  , I was not allowed to be sick, she told me I was being hostile ,and beat me , I wonder if others were made to feel crazy, or were beaten for being sick. All of us deserved, warm loving mothers and a stable home , no matter how hard the abuser tries to convince any of us that it was our fault, it is bold face lie ,  to all  Alexandra

[NarcKiddo]

I'm sorry you had one too. I found it helpful when I realised what I had been dealing with, and interesting how similar the experiences of others often are.

I was not forbidden to be sick, but it was always a problem. My mother would get furious about the extra work involved in looking after a sick child, especially if it involved trips to clinics. We were not allowed to take any risks that might result in injury - so mostly had to be extremely careful so as not to fall over, fall off a bike or whatever.

[Kizzie]

My NM's response to my being sick was very much like NarcKiddo - she was exasperated by it, and it was clear I was being a burden.

You know I remember once going to the dentist and having to have something done that I was afraid of because I was fairly young. I could see my M in the waiting room and she was acting like she was just so upset she was going to cry any minute and I turned in the chair and told her I was alright. Story of my life - taking care of her when she should have been looking out for me.

  Hugs to those of us who didn't get the love and care we absolutely should have had as kids!

[Alexandra]

Hello Kizzie; I was the care giver as well, frankly, my so-called mother made me feel a combination of furious ,and  terrified ,all the time ,she had no compassion , I feel that I can write this, I was so desperately lonely, at 13 ,I found a cat on the street and brought it home, my so-called mother said I could keep it if I took care of it ,which I certainly did, it had obviously been in a home at some point, as it as very well behaved after a week, she put the cat in a laundry bag, and told me to leave on the street , not to come home until I did, I walked around for two hours crying, I had no where else to go, so I left the cat, I hated my so-called mother for forcing me to be cruel , there is something evil, in forcing anyone in general, and a child in particular to be cruel , it felt like torture to me.  Thank you for understanding. Alexandra

[NarcKiddo]

That story about the cat, and her making you abandon it, is utterly awful in every way. I'm so very sorry that happened.

[TheBigBlue]

I am not in a good place to answer, but     

[Alexandra]

Hello ; Thank you for the support, the cruelty of my having to abandon the cat, stays with me,as if it happened yesterday , I just avoid thinking about it. Another thing is memories, When  I chat  with other people, they have a treasure strove, of happy childhood memories, of course they have sad ones as well,life is life however, their memories are good ones for the most part, they concentrate on the goods memories .I feel that another way I have been robbed, is by not having good memories , having to use enormous amounts  of self discipline and self control to keep the past at bay. How do others feel, about dealing with this issue