This Has Nothing to Do with CPTSD

[HannahOne]

Love to read everyone's joy. Interesting that so many of us find joy in using our bodies in ways that give us a sense of movement, freedom, or groundedness.

That's how it is for me:

Horseback riding. The horse's legs are my legs. I'm a centaur!

When I was younger, long-distance running. Felt like flying.

Now, I love kayaking. I get to be a duck!

Hiking, especially in the desert and high desert. Red rocks light me up.

And, music, which is a different kind of movement and freedom. It also engages the body, into dance! I've signed up to take ballet this summer. In my youth, I studied belly dance, balaldi, mainly Egyptian style. I've recently started making playlists again and make sure to listen at least an hour a day.

And, animals. Animals are animated, they have movement and freedom, and an _anima_, a soul. Being with a being that is not a human being shifts my state into something without words, and it brings me so much connection and joy!

[SenseOrgan]

Sorry to disappear on you for a bit friends.

Came here to say the man is a force of nature! Irresistible good vibes. 


Shimza | Boiler Room x Ballantine's True Music 10: Johannesburg

[SenseOrgan]

Doing the dishes dancing with Caiiro🕺🏽

Caiiro at U'R

[sanmagic7]

SO, thanks for this.  even after all these years, i'm till pretty stuck in my trauma.  I've only gotten acquainted with EF's in the past few months - i'm sure i've been in them before but only realizing them now.

and my anxiety keeps me frozen yet from things i used to do, but, yes, body movement - i've only just gotten back into walking outdoors in the mornings, mostly, love the freshness of the air, and am back to lifting weights, which i did in my 30's and have only recently been able to actually have enough physical energy to begin again.  it's been a change since i've gotten older and have had to re-calibrate myself, so to speak, but i do love to feel the warmth in my muscles after finishing a few sets.

and gardening is where my heart blooms.  i've got some tomato plants in pots right now, cuz i'm in an apt. and have to makeshift a garden of sorts, but they're still green and growing, and they're my babies.  i'm looking to put some spring bulbs in some ground near my bedroom window where bushes used to be.  i got a few while in bloom during the spring, so hoping the bulbs themselves will decide it's worth it to struggle up thru the soil next spring after i plant them in the bare patch come fall.

little by little, at least some of it is coming back.  and it feels so much better.

[SenseOrgan]

Great stuff San! The mornings are the best for walks imo. It's when I prefer to do my jogging. Your post gave me a nudge the other day to pick that up again. It's been a while, since I've been so busy with the garden.

I don't know much about lifting weights. I've never done much beyond body weight training (which isn't much weight in my case). Can you elaborate on what you do? I have considered getting into lifting before. I might.

I'm with you on the gardening front. There's no beating the green thumbs out of us, is there? Pretty cool you're growing tomatoes! Which ones? The community garden has morphed into a polyculture jungle of sorts. In two of my most successful beds are also tomatoes. They seem quite happy and are bearing fruit. If they all ripen I won't be able to handle that much! They are growing together with parsnips, radishes, tea, dill, marigold, sudangrass, basil, gherkins, sunflowers, and heaps of volunteers called horsetails.

[SenseOrgan]

Just followed this guy's example. Hope to report some good news in a few months. Fingers crossed.

How to Root Blueberry Bushes from Cuttings | Propagating Softwood Cuttings of Blueberry Plants

[Marcine]

"gardening is where my heart blooms"... yes, San!

SO, I look forward to hearing more about your propagation adventure— of blueberry bushes and ideas— in abundance

[SenseOrgan]

Marcine
Always happy to talk gardening with you.

[Gently]

Hello! It's just recently that I find I can read a thread like this and feel a smile of resonance spread across my face. Until recently, I also needed to devour recovery materials, and did not have a lot of energy even for other people's difficulties.

I love this idea.

Lots of things came to mind as I read the posts above, which is an encouragement in itself.

One recent thing I find I love is playing Ping Pong, or Table Tennis, like another poster (I'm sorry, I'm not sure which of you said that, now). In our city, a new high rise development along the riverfront created a large multi-use community area with concrete Ping Pong tables, and buckets with paddles and balls. We started playing, and now we find we want to go for a walk in that direction so that we can play. My daughter lives very close to that space, and we have also played with her.

The provided balls went missing quite quickly, not surprising, so we bought a box of 60 off of Amazon and take one with us when we go. We leave it behind when we leave.

It's been a neat thing to go and play alongside others who are also using the space, just humans enjoying something at the same time in the same place. Don't need to talk to feel a connection.

We're getting better! And more competitive.

[TheBigBlue]

SO, although I do not have green thumb, I still loved watching the Propagating video - yes, to the very end.   

Gently, after 30 years without recreational sport I started wheelchair table tennis in Jan 2026 - and I love it. I play twice a week, incl. group lessons ... and ditto on the getting better. Even found a new friend.

[Gently]

SO, although I do not have green thumb, I still loved watching the Propagating video - yes, to the very end.   

Gently, after 30 years without recreational sport I started wheelchair table tennis in Jan 2026 - and I love it. I play twice a week, incl. group lessons ... and ditto on the getting better. Even found a new friend.

It was you!

[SenseOrgan]

Gently
Welcome to the forum and welcome here! I'm happy to hear this angle resonates with you. It sounds like you've found an interesting way to interact with people. I know nothing about table tennis, except that I find it very difficult. Those 60 balls sound like a plan. It's nice you're getting more engaged with the sport. Enjoy!

TheBigBlue
Be carefull, you may get dragged into this plant stuff. 


I've settled into a maintenance routine for the community garden. When it's hot and dry, I aim to be there every other day around 7AM. Right now I start my garden day with a bit of harvesting. French beans, tomatoes, zucchini, gherkins, lemon balm, potatoes. Not a single tomato has made it home yet. I ate the ones that ripened straight off the plant. They're really good. There's something in their taste that's not there in any store bought ones I had before. I like it. After I'm done harvesting, I sometimes do a bit of tomato pruning/binding and a bit of weeding. Then I thoroughly water the entire garden. I prefer to water the least amount as possible, but since there are seeds in the ground, I need to keep the soil moist. The plants love it, off course.

Thus far the polyculture has been a succes. The cardboard and thick layer of compost keep out most of the weeds. Some vines and a lot of horsetails made their way through it. I've come to appreciate the horsetails as a ground cover. It doesn't really crowd out the other plants and it's easy to snap off and leave it right there. Keeping the ground covered, preferably with living plants, is one of my main concerns. Harvesting is nice, but it isn't the most fun thing for me. I like that the biomass produces have reached the size I had hoped they would. The Jerusalem artichokes are around 3 meter, as are some sunflowers and corn. The sudangrass is close behind. It's pretty nuts how fast the latter grows when established. I'd swear I sometimes see an extra meter long stem that wasn't there two days ago. Since I hadn't been able to create a thought out garden plan in time, I added black eyed peas a while ago to keep the biomass going. Some of them are picking up steam now. It's going to be even more of a jungle than it already is when they take over the tall plants. I'm quite happy with how things are turning out.

Except for the voles. These guys are very destructive. They love the wood chip paths in between the garden beds. They go through the beds too, but not as much as through the paths. The beds is where I presume they feed. It's a candy store for them there. I'm surprised I haven't lost any plants yet. One thing I really dislike about their destructive habit is that they bring up weed seeds that I worked very hard to suppress with the cardboard and compost. The amount of spots where weeds are sprouting continues to increase. Well, that's gardening too. I have nowhere near as much work as most of the other gardeners in this community. My direct neighbors are not able to stay on top of the weeds (mildly put). That's the situation I wanted to avoid and it's working. The cardboard plus compost method is a really nice start for a garden. This is the reason I'm able to relatively easy manage it plus my front- and backyard. I've spotted corn cobs, sunflowers, calendula and poppy flowers. The sudangrass is setting seed, green bell peppers are appearing, and the eggplants are also going for it. No rows, no bare soil, no hoeing. Just watering, a bit of weeding and pruning, and destroying tunnels. And I've learned a thing or two I want to change next year.

[NarcKiddo]

For some reason I really love the fact that no tomato has made it home yet. I like thinking of you enjoying a freshly picked tomato right then and there!

[Marcine]

Phenomenal gardening adventure, SO!

[TheBigBlue]

Love it! 💛