em's recovery journal

[em87]

I'm ruminating again.

is it real? can I trust myself? will I make it through the work week? yes, I have to. I can't take a day off.

next week I might do reprocessing in emdr. I feel like this target is fake. I feel disconnected. I thought I wanted to target it, but I feel disconnected. on the other hand, it feels connected to this memory of driving with family. I don't understand the connection.i'm a rational person. I don't want to deal with emotions.

that's all for now since I'm exhausted. I'll try using my container.