Impossible to feel strong positive emotions

[pelicantown]

 

I have a good, solid life. I'm married to someone I love and have a lovely day-to-day with. I have a dog. Work is stable (and I get to work from home!). I have time to do things I enjoy. But I could be traveling, eating the best food in the world, or hanging out with people I care about, and it seems like my happiness meter or positive emotions only get up to a certain point. It's almost like I can't fully feel them. I remember a time when I felt positive emotions strongly, but it's no longer like that. Any similar experiences? Solutions? Thoughts?

[lowbudgetTV]

I totally feel this. I feel like a muted person, someone who cannot express emotions. I call it emotionally constipated, though that describes mostly when I know I'm feeling something but it just doesn't come out. I want to feel, but yet...

Depending on one's background, I imagine we get it from being pushed down in our vulnerable days: we showed the wrong emotions and thus learned over time to be more muted. Or maybe its just a manifestation of a remaining sadness or grief, even though times are good.

I do miss the times when I was happy. I at least feel the great relief of sadness and crying sometimes (its so bad to not be able to let that out) but without the polar opposite, its a very dull gray life.