Me and my girlfriend (BPD+NPD+ASPD+CPTSD) & (NPD+BD+CPTSD)

[LucasLu]

This is an extremely complex relationship, but it also holds significant research value. I have been seeing my psychologist for 12 years, and I have engaged in all forms of self-harm and suicidal behaviors. I am that high-risk case where personal safety is constantly threatened. It was only recently that I managed to stop the frequent suicidal and self-harm behaviors. My doctor and I have discovered a new therapeutic perspective and direction, which is still under validation. I need to observe my own state over the next year to determine whether this model is viable. 

Currently, the state of this relationship is that she is in Europe, and I am in China. She consistently uses avoidance as her defense mechanism, while I am confronted with existential issues related to death, leaving me with no escape. Some time ago, after reading Judith Herman's book and deeply immersing myself in her trauma as well as my own, I developed secondary structural dissociation. At present, aside from myself, there is one ANP and five EPs. Overall, my state is relatively stable. I am likely one of the few people in the world who has developed secondary structural dissociation due to vicarious trauma. 

Based on the materials I have reviewed, it appears that NPD or BPD may manifest as symptoms of CPTSD. Short-term treatment for survivors from the perspective of personality disorders often yields limited results. However, healing from a trauma perspective tends to lead to a more stable state for survivors.