To my sub-conscious

[Chart]

Dear Prefrontal Cortex,
I am struggling and searching to understand your relationship with "our" sub-conscious. Popular perception and running belief indicates that despite taking up nearly 100% of our conscious thinking, you in reality only represent a small percentage of our actual brain activity. I equate this situation as being similar to my trying to influence international politics... by visiting the vegetable garden of one my local council members of the relatively small town in which I live... and even! I doubt I have even THAT much perception or influence over my sub-conscious.

And so therein lies the rub of my frustration and the purpose of this letter... I should like a little more "help" from our sub-conscious regarding the current state of affairs of which we find ourselves.

To be plain: Would it not be possible that our sub-conscious starts communicating with us in an ever so slightly more clear and explicit manner? As opposed to releasing gas-bubbles of sadness, futility, uselessness and depression, to slowly waft and rise at their leisure into the domain of consciousness, couldn't we rather somehow "meet half-way" so as to...
1) Get the messages FASTER and CLEARER!
2) Have a better idea of to what these "feelings" are actually linked!
3) Perhaps give an advance-warning of the Potency of the upcoming "state of feeling" that is potentially subsequently going to shut us down like a blizzard locks-down sunny vacation spots in the south, totally unprepared for snow...

I would be doing you a disservice, my dearest Sub-Conscious, by NOT iforming you that I'm getting a little pissed off... It's as if you are subtle... subtle... subtle... and THEN you drop a forty-ton ocean-going steamliner on my sorry excuse for a corpse... What On Earth Is Your PROGRAMM here?

Please? Seriously, I've had dysfunctional relationships with people in the past, but YOU take the cake of all of them. Let's cut the crap! I can take it! But just please give it to me straight!

Signed, an extremely fatigued mind-body...

[NarcKiddo]

I probably shouldn't have laughed when I read this, Chart. But it somehow tickled me with the no-nonsense way it says it all. I guess it would be kind of handy if we could start a system of "named storms" like the weather people give us these days.

 

[Hope67]

 

[TheBigBlue]

Thank you, Chart, this is exactly what it feels like:
Prefrontal Cortex asks for a weather forecast → Subconscious delivers climate change.

I'm now fully imagining the brain as an Inside Out control room. The Prefrontal Cortex is there wearing a headset and fluorescent vest for visibility and clarity, clipboard in hand, very earnestly trying to run a meeting:
"Okay team. Can we please identify the source of the disturbance? I'm just asking for clearer signals, earlier warnings, and maybe a severity rating. Is this a light drizzle? A passing cloud? Or are we talking full emergency protocols?"

Cut to the Subconscious.
The Subconscious is not in the room. It's underground. In a basement bunker. No windows. No clocks. No Slack. No manuals. Surrounded by ancient levers and dials marked things like THREAT, SHAME, and one ominous red button labeled DEPLOY EXISTENTIAL DREAD. One dial is stuck. Another is on fire. The instruction manual consists entirely of Ice Age cave symbols.

The Prefrontal Cortex keeps sending polite memos:
"Could we get earlier notifications?"
"Perhaps some context?"
"Is this a level-2 concern or a level-10 shutdown?"

The Subconscious responds by releasing:
– lowering atmospheric pressure
– a vague chest tightness
– a fog of sadness
– a random hailstorm of childhood memories
- ...and then, without warning, drops a cylon directly onto consciousness.
- And then (because subtlety is overrated) TORNADO WARNING INSIDE. Sirens blaring. Furniture airborne. Consciousness clutching a coffee mug asking, "AGAIN ?"

It perfectly captures the futility of trying to reason with a system that doesn't speak language but still insists on being heard.
The conscious mind keeps requesting bullet points, timelines, and risk assessments - and the subconscious responds exclusively in foghorns, body sensations, and sudden existential weather events. No memos. No release notes. Just surprise glitter bombs.

Funny, maddening, and painfully accurate. Thank you for making something so exhausting feel momentarily funny. If nothing else, at least we can compare storm reports while we wait for the skies to clear.