Lonely at Christmas

[GettingThere]

This will be my 3rd Christmas in a row with no family. It isn't safe for me to be around them and I'm very grateful for my life now, but it's still hard to get through this time of year with no family or partner. Any advice from folks who have gone through the same thing?

[TheBigBlue]

Hi GettingThere, You're not alone in this. This will be only my second Christmas in 57 years that I won't spend with my family, and even knowing it's safer this way, it still carries weight.

I'm grateful I'll have a CBT session tomorrow morning (24th) that feels like a real anchor for me. After that it'll be simple, gentle things: my service dog, movies, the dog park, letting myself eat what I actually feel like for a few days, and not asking more of myself than I can give. Then back to therapy on Monday.

I don't have advice, just solidarity. It's okay to be grateful and sad at the same time. This season can be hard even when we've made the right choices for ourselves. 💛

[GettingThere]

Thanks so much Big Blue. It helps to know I'm not alone. I hope you have the best holiday you can and I'm so glad therapy is an anchor for you and that you'll be able to eat the food you enjoy and spend time with your dog <3

[Kizzie]

It is or can be a difficult time of year when all around you people are celebrating with family and friends or so it seems. It took a very long time for me to let go of the Hallmark version of Christmas I carried in my head and replace it with a quieter, calmer version of the holidays. Now I am able to appreciate that what I am missing is the chaos, drama, difficult feelings, etc of my family of origin.

I understand how lonely it can be and yet the time is ours to do with what we please rather than pleasing others, navigating conflict and all the other 'joys' holidays with family brought us. Some members here have chosen to make it an unChristmas, just a day for them to do what they like, eat what they want as you have said BigBlue, and focus on self and what they like to do.

I am sorry this time of year is so hard for us but we do have each other, we do understand what many of us are going through, and we do care and send our support. 

    

[SenseOrgan]

My heart goes out to you. NC with my family at the moment. Not that we used to celebrate Christmas together, but it makes this time of year more difficult. I've felt the sense of separation more intensely the past week or so. Even though I'm physically alone this time, I'm immensely grateful I'll have a video call with a good friend. Other than that, I haven't thought of doing anything special. I may hang out here. That opportunity, I do not take for granted.