conflict resolution? how do we deal with this?

[asdis]

if this is the wrong place to post this, please let us know where would be most appropriate and we'll move it.

TW: mentions of addiction

we've been going to a local trauma recovery/community center since january and it's been mostly good, but the cracks are forming and we're unsure of how to proceed.

it started out pretty good, most people there are older than us (i think we are actually the youngest participant), but it seemed like a great place at first. it was really nice to meet others with similar life experiences, especially nice to meet older people with DID. it's somewhere between hanging out and group therapy. we've been (seemingly) well liked by everyone, everyone's been really kind, and our shares in group have been well received. we've never been told by any staff of issues, in fact, before this the only issue we had was that another participant was behaving inappropriately and was very obsessed with us.

the problem is is that apparently, because we occasionally attend the dual diagnosis group, that one of our friends there was told off by one of the PRS for bringing us vanilla extract? that happened a couple weeks ago. like, our friend got told she's not allowed to bring anything in anymore, and that she most likely set off an alcoholic relapse for us. however, despite our friend being told that, no one reached out to us? it seems to us that if the concern was really in our safety, then they should have checked in with us?

our friend told us about this last night. we definitely believe her, there have been a couple smaller instances that showed us that the some of the staff engages in favoritism. we are pretty in shock(?) because the PRS that said all that to her is(was?) one of our favorites and one of the ones we were most comfortable with. but now we don't know? we understand concern for our safety, but it doesn't feel genuine? the PRS made a bunch of assumptions about us and framed us as if we were in the depths of alcohol addiction, despite knowing nothing about our history. it feels really icky to have those assumptions be made, especially because the PRS claimed that our fiance buys us alcohol-free vanilla extract? which is entirely untrue? we don't even drink, at most we'll occasionally taste a mixed drink if our fiance or in-laws offer, but we don't like alcohol. our body can barely even process it! so physically, we legitimately cannot take more than a sip or two.

we want to talk to the PRS who said all this because they have been a big help to us there outside of this situation, but we don't know how to approach this as there is only my friends story to back us up and we're afraid that the PRS will deny it and punish our friend, as they have already singled our friend out for things that others have been allowed and even encouraged to do, and have given our friend personal rules that other participants do not have. we want to talk about it because we would like to keep going, it really has been an incredible resource for us and the only IRL community we have. but we don't know what to do or say, because involving others could make it worse, but also only talking to the PRS that started it could make it worse too. and we were hoping that maybe someone here had any ideas or insight. we talked to our fiance about it, but we didn't tell him which PRS it is because he can be a little too ready to defend us for our liking. we are going to talk to our therapist about it next time we see her too.