Tired

[Neeny]

I don't even know where to start. All I know is that I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending I'm fine. I'm tired of feeling so hopeless. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of not mattering to anyone. I'm exhausted everyday. I don't want to get up out of bed. I have no joy left inside me just heartache. I don't know how to cope. No one checks in on me to make sure I'm okay or not dead. I check in on people because they matter to me, i just don't get the same in return. If I just disappeared no one would notice. My therapist wants me to make friends with people but I don't even know how. Everyone i have tried to befriend has either screwed me over or ghosted me. I'm just so...tired.

[Blueberry]

A warm welcome to the forum, Neeny      (if not too scary, if so ignore).

I understand feeling tired of ... all sorts. And just plain tired. You'll find that others on the forum understand too. It's a pretty supportive place. I hope you start to feel the support here too.

[NarcKiddo]

Welcome. I'm sorry you are so tired.

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to Out of the Storm Neeny  Your post sure took me back to a time when I was so exhausted just like you, "bone weary" I think I characterized it as. That's what CPTSD does, it isolates us and causes us to battle to survive, just keeping our head above water a lot of the time.  And so it was for so many of us.  It's great that you have a therapist and now that you are here because getting out why you developed CPTSD and sharing it with a trained professional and then with peers here can lift a lot of that feeling of exhaustion, at least it did for me.

You'll notice we have a journal section (https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=61.0), and that is where you're most likely to see any changes in yourself over time. You may notice as you share your story the tiredness start to lift and you feel connected to others on the forum.

I hope you find some comfort and support here at OOTS     And of course have a lot of information that will also help on your recovery journey.