New Member Introduction

[wlfpck00]

Hello, I'm new the doctor's just changed my diagnosis from PTSD to CPTSD -- I have been diagnosed with PTSD for 22 years and have struggled with dealing with my severe trauma's throughout my life. I believe I finally have the right diagnosis. I'm scared though as talking and dealing with my childhood abuse has been very very hard for me. I have tried ECT, EMDR, recently Ketamine Treatment (the nasal spray), several medications...and many many years of group and individual therapy. It has been a rough road. But I'm not willing to give up yet. I hope this forum and the OOTS group, with the hopes I can join and be accepted into it, and my continued therapy will help me get through this next phase in my treatment. I have always been willing to work hard at recovery from my past abuse history. But, sometimes feel as if I have failed myself and the people trying to help me. But, I guess I'm still working hard, so we will see.

[NarcKiddo]

But, sometimes feel as if I have failed myself and the people trying to help me.

That sounds like the trauma talking. You can't possibly have failed yourself or others with all of the efforts you have been making for so many years. Even just recognising something is wrong and deciding to do something about it is a huge step in the right direction. You have been taking steps for years. Unfortunately, the nature of the beast we deal with is that it usually takes a very, very long time to subdue.

Welcome to OOTS.

[Kizzie]

I'm with NarcKiddo, trauma means we often say and believe we are failing when we're doing our level best but just don't have enough of the right tools, treatment, support and connection.  You've taken care of some of that by coming here so kudos for that     Having a tribe of sorts where people know what you're talking about is really wonderful or at least that's what I and many others find. No need to educate us about what's going on, we get it and that's such a relief.  Community and connection can really help. 

[wlfpck00]

Thank you to those who replied and you are right my trauma often talks to me -- I guess that is why I'm here. I will learn more about CPTSD as I explore this site and as I more through my trauma with my therapist and the groups I participate in. Thank you for welcoming me with open arms. You are so kind and I'm looking forward to being involved in this forum.