Intro and first post

[Evergreen_Elf]

Hi everyone,

This will be a bit long as a lot has happened in my life to bring me here.
I spent my early years in foster care  before 2 of my siblings and myself were adopted by a couple. I was five at the time.

The 3 of us were verbally, financially, physically and medically abused. There were instances of medical neglect and they regularly "locked away" food sources. They had plenty of money but I was scared to ask for basics like hair conditioner and deodorant. I wasn't even allowed to choose what I wore and my adoptive mother kept my hair sheared short so I looked like a boy.

I am now 29 and estranged from my adoptive parents. My siblings regularly trauma dump on me so I am low contact with them. They recently also called the police to do a "wellness check" on me and I was terrified to do see the police at my door. So my relationship with my siblings is basically done as well.

I struggle to socialize due to trauma and I'm trying to form an identity separate from the abused child I used to be. Hopefully with healing I can make new connections.

[Blueberry]

Welcome to the forum Evergreen_Elf

[NarcKiddo]

Welcome.

I am sorry that you were adopted by such awful people.

[Evergreen_Elf]

thank you all for the welcome 

[Larry]

Hi and welcome     The people on this forum have been incredibly supportive and helpful,  I am sure you will find the same. 

[Papa Coco]

Evergreen Elf,

Welcome to the forum. I agree with the others, this is a supportive and helpful place. Each of us has a different backstory of how/why we found this forum, but once we get to opening up with each other, we discover that no matter how different our pasts were, we mostly feel the same symptoms in life now. Trauma is a road that can start anywhere, but ends up leading us all to the same place.

Your story is heart wrenching. I'm so sorry for the painful past you've had to endure. I also believe (truly, not just in word) that it takes bravery and determination to do as you've done. Removing yourself from the family that repeatedly caused harm is a gutsy move and I'm very happy that you are strong enough to stand up for yourself and cut them out of your daily life. I waited until I was 50 before I finally went no contact with my siblings, and I regret that. I wish I'd have gone no contact MUCH sooner than 50. I support what you've had to do to protect yourself from your own family. Again, different backstory, but somehow, we ended up in the same place: No contact. And rather than suffering alone with being no longer connected to family, you are out here looking for newer and better connections with people who are helpful, rather than hurtful.

I hope this forum gives you a place where you can feel safe and welcome with a large body of likeminded souls. The people here seem to feel each other's emotions in a way that proves we are connecting with each other. And connection is what it's all about. We're stronger when we feel connected with others who are good for us. Empathy--the ability to feel what others are feeling--is strong on this forum. I personally believe Empathy is the most powerful healing power available to mankind, and empathy is abundant here. We have walked our miles in each other's shoes.

Welcome!

[Evergreen_Elf]

thank you for your kind response. Familial estrangement is something I am still coming to terms with every day. Hopefully we can both find better connections every day.