Miscellaneous ramblings of NarcKiddo

[zen_racer]

NK, I'm sorry you're having a rough time.  It sounds like that AI research was a great thing to do.  It's always good to advocate for yourself when it comes to medical stuff.  I had to do that a lot when my gallbladder failed by going hyperkinetic. 

I appreciate the full honesty when describing your experiences with the inner children.  I especially resonate with having trouble being nurturing towards a younger me.  I think we all just did the best that we could with what we had at the time.

I hope Teenage NK starts to see you as caring and patient as I do soon.

[HannahOne]

I find teenagers to be a challenge too, NK, both inner teens, and outer ones, LOL! Building a relationship with yourself is important, and takes time. I try to remember I don't have to like all parts of me. Or my actual teenagers I live with My inner teenager is like an abused dog. I Can't walk up and pat her on the head. I have to sit quietly in the same space, not  making eye contact, and just wait for her to come to me, if she wants to. Anytime I try to be direct, it goes wrong. Kind of like talking to teens while driving in cars: less confrontational, more parallel. And remembering as you said that the inner teen was just a kid. It's easy to think of teens as little adults but their brains are not fully developed. They're just kids trying to make it.

[sanmagic7]

NK, that lung stuff sounds intense.  well done for learning what's going on with all of it and for knowing what' best for you to do to help your lungs work correctly again.  just a thought:  could you write out what you need to have done, keep it with you in case, as you mentioned, you get a flare-up that needs to be tended to by a doc, but you can't speak? 

i'm just getting into the little me's stuff, but it sounds like you're navigating the waters with your inner children and i agree that teens of any kind can be rough to deal with.  as someone mentioned, your kindness and caring will show thru and eventually all of you will do well together.  i have no doubt.  love and hugs

[NarcKiddo]

Thank you everyone for your kind, understanding and helpful comments, and for being here. San, that's a good idea. I have an online journal I can access on my phone and you can pin entries to the top so that would be a good way of keeping the vital information easily to hand. I've already got the AI information in there so pinning it is an easy job. I actually LOVE this particular online journal. It's called Day One and I'd recommend it to anyone. I pay for it so I can have different journals for different topics but the basic free one journal model is fine, too. It's what I started with.

My inner teenager is like an abused dog. I Can't walk up and pat her on the head. I have to sit quietly in the same space, not  making eye contact, and just wait for her to come to me, if she wants to. Anytime I try to be direct, it goes wrong

Thank you so much for this analogy, HannahOne. It is massively helpful. Particularly because, much as I can summon up bucketloads of compassion for a small child I can also summon up bucketloads of compassion for a dog. Likening the experience of Teenage NK to an abused dog is something I can really get on board with.

[Hope67]