I picked a bad time to recover (tw: current American politics...)

[sam145]

Sorry for the political vent. Tw for sexual assault and victim-blaming too because that's what's happening today.

I'm so frustrated with my country. I know that's hyperbolic, but I don't know how else to word it. I feel sickened seeing the reactions of my fellow humans when it comes to what's happening on the news. I knew that things were going downhill after the 2016 election and tried to keep a healthy distance from politics (while not completely burying my head in the sand) but today has been so hard. Not only am I seeing the horrible victim-blaming and claims of women "making false accusations to tear down powerful men", but I'm seeing all my friends who are survivors of sexual assault reliving their trauma all over again, screaming "This is why we didn't come forward! This is what happens when people come forward!" while others confidently state that false accusations are an epidemic.

What's especially horrible to me is the fact that some people defend sexual assault by implying that if we "change the definition" of it to encompass drunken college kids who made mistakes, then no one would be left to run for office. So the defense is that "everyone is doing it so it's ok"?? And these are the people who want to make decisions for us??

I just feel sickened and drained by all of this.

[Deep Blue]

Me too

[Elphanigh]

I am sitting with you both on this. I haven't been able to watch/read much on the recent trials because it triggers so many memories of my own past. Normally I am steady enough to at least listen to some but this round of trials has been particularly rough.

Sam145, if you haven't seen the thread yet Kizzie started one on Trump. It has a lot of political feelings and the affects on a lot of our community in it. I definitely suggest taking a peek at it.

You are both not alone in these feelings... it is frustrating and disheartening. I am hoping that this is like the arrow being pulled back and on the other side of this mess is a launch forward into such a better state of being for everyone in this country and others.

With you both always 

[sam145]

Checking out the thread now. Thanks, Elphanigh 

I do expect things to get worse before they get better. You have to take the work to mend the wound before it can heal, right? Today has been very hard though. People saying that a victim is making things up is extremely triggering for me.

It takes so much courage to speak up about something traumatic like that, and I'm endlessly disgusted at the people who keep pushing their irrelevant perspective about how it "wasn't that bad" as if THEY were the ones who had to process the trauma of being someone else's "dumb mistake they made when they were young". Words cannot express how much it sickens me.

Stuff like this makes me want to just go hide away forever and not talk to other people anymore, but I know that adopting ignorance to avoid problems just allows the problems to grow unhindered. All we can do is keep moving forward.

[woodsgnome]

I wasn't going to chime in on this, but that's dumb--it's consumed me for the past day. I thought the thing might trigger me and was going to ignore it. But I flicked on the radio (no TV here) yesterday after a power outage just to see if it was working, and the testimony had just begun, so I started listening, and was badly triggered by it all. I felt like all those times it happened--the fear, the inability to speak, the laughing referred to...deja vu, so much, too much of it; had to turn it off.

Against my better judgement, I started to hear the nominee's turn later on. Awful but accurate example of someone playing to his out-of-touch harumphing sputtering audience of ho-hum legislators beholden mostly to their old-guy power games. I couldn't stand much of it, doing what I usually do and reading of the damage later on.

I'm a guy, but my perspective comes from having been molested by people of both genders at various ages up to age 22. Although the pattern in these more public instances has long been male-female, I view it more as human-human. Or is it more subhuman-human?

That's probably enough said, though. I don't have the stomach to go further anyway.

[Elphanigh]

Sam, you are so right we do have to do the work to see it get better. Which sadly at this point means we need people to speak up so things can be done and become different. Though like many people I am unable to do that in any sort of legal way... It would be more than I could handle, so I advocate in other ways. I do have hope that one day the work that is being done will make this better.

Woodsgnome, thank  you for sharing. I hope you are doing some important self care after having something so triggering. Your perspective is a unique and important one. I am a female but some of my worst abusers were also female. I think you are correct when you say it is more human-human, idk if I could go as far as sub-human-human but that is my own personal reservations and quirks coming into the mix. Take good care of yourself Woodsgnome, this is a really hard topic

[the mirliton]

I am so thankful for this forum and each one of you for sharing. It helps tremendously to know I am not alone with my strong reactions to the present political climate.  A co-worker of mine (female) wanted to talk about the testimony.  I did not listen to it, for many reasons, but thought I should let her share her observations and feelings. I really did not think that I would get so triggered by what she had to say.  She started saying that to her she thought the judge was very adamant and believable, and that the woman could not be more specific with her details so she was probably making some of it up! I could not control my self and so looked at her directly and asked if or how many times she had been sexually assaulted. She knew very little of my history, so I blurted out about what it's like to try and live a life worth living while carrying trauma within our bodies. I did not mean to do be so blunt, however I was shocked at her reaction! Anyway, I AM grateful for each and every person who participates in this healing space, reminding  me that I am not alone and that there are (unfortunately too many) souls out there who "get it" and understand.