Inner child work

[Laynelove]

A therapist suggested I do inner child journalling a few years ago and I never did it because I thought It was stupid ( I was only young at the time) but now I realise that I really do need to do it.

Does anyone know how to do this? What am I supposed to write? How long am I supposed to do it for and how often? Is it a daily thing or weekly or is everyone different?

Any help would be appreciated!

[Golden Tapestry]

I've been doing just that.  It works and it is amazing when you get used to it and realize you can give your child what they lacked growing up.  I did it years ago and have been back at it.  I believe that any inner healing has to start from when abuse started and sometimes you go back even farther than what you thought you should.  If you can do it every day for at least 21 days, it is good.  Or at least as much as you can.  It takes 21 days to form a habit so it makes sense that I needed to form a new habit of nurturing my child.  I am still doing it most days and I now know that I will do it often for the rest of my life. 

I use a 34 minute hypnosis recording done by Donald Currie which I found on YouTube.  He has a great voice and it is easy to follow him.  After the first couple of times, I started stopping the recording before he brings me back from my journey so that I am able to spend more time talking and laughing and just holding my child.  I just quickly put on a new recording that is relaxing spa/bath music. This is a quick version of the one that you could purchase but I am short on funds so I make do. 

When I am finished, I return to Donald Currie's recording and finish it up.  He's very gentle and supportive throughout the entire process.  It is very much worth it.  My child has surprised me at times and actually got me laughing.  I've sat there in the dark with my headphones on and a goofy grin on my face because she is awesome. 

My first trauma was the murder suicide of my parents when I was four, almost five years old and then continued with mental, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse from there with my relatives that I ended up with.  But when I spend time with my child, she is usually in a diaper.  That was just a natural vision for me.  I've spent time with her at around 7 years old too but for now most of my time seems to still be in a diaper.  I'm not sure of the age because I was still wetting the bed at night when my parents died.

I hope this helps and I apologize for rambling on.  It's so good to be able to share.  xo

[Laynelove]

I guess it's just a hard concept to accept when you haven't started yet.

I don't know how to juggle all this healing stuff with trying to have relationships and a semi normal life, what would I tell a boyfriend about what I'm writing in a journal  I worry someone will find this stuff.

I know it has to be done though, what am I supposed to write to a child version of myself to start with? Does it just flow eventually or do u have to really push for it?

Thanks so much for replying, so sorry to hear of your awful struggles but I'm glad you've reunited with your inner child.

[Golden Tapestry]

Thank you Laynelove
I haven't written to my child but if I were to do it, it would be the most important letter I've ever written.  Imagine that child is lost and you've been searching for a very long time.  She/he has been waiting for a very long time.  Imagine all of the things that someone should have said to you or done for you.  Imagine all that you weren't given.  Imagine the compassion you would give to someone that you knew went through what you went through.  Now pour that compassion into that child.  You can start by hugging her and telling her how beautiful she is.  You can tell her that you've been searching for her.  You can tell her that she can trust you because you know her better than anyone ever could and that you are there for her.  Start small and it will all come.  You don't have to do it all at once.  Just remember, she is your child and she needs to be loved and treated like the child she is.  You are going back to help/protect/love/comfort/laugh/cry, etc.  She is not waiting for you so she can comfort you (the adult).  You are the adult that is going back to give her what she was never given. 

Hope this all makes sense.  You don't need to write anything.  Just lay back and imagine.  Breathe, relax, then imagine you are in the safest most beautiful place there is.  She is there waiting for you.  I do it sometimes when I wake up but before I actually get out of bed.  No-one has to know anything except you.... 

You'll get it.  It gets easier as time goes on and you'll look forward to spending time with her...  xo

[sweetsixty]

Just a small suggestion, it was recommended to me that when writing to your inner child you use your dominant hand ( the one you usually write with). But then get the child to reply by using your non-dominant hand. I tried it and was shocked just how powerful it was.

It led to me moving on to the tips I've shared in my post on inner child and mindfulness post.

Good luck xxx

[NatureGirl]

I am so sorry that you went through all that trauma. It took my breath away. I will try to do the journaling to start a conversation. This might sound odd but I have been holding a fluffy dog toy every night and stroking it as if it were me, as a child. Soothing her. The action brings me great comfort and I can cry for her and with her.

[pam]

It's nice to read that people are doing inner Child writing and other comforting actions. I started years ago but haven't kept up with it consistently, even though it works! It really does! I have major resistance to it.

Yes, use non-dominant hand for younger children.

And wow, Golden Tapestry, I never even thought to write every day! I only did it once a month or as little as once every few months...

I have a teddy bear that is mine, but also had my inner child in it--a healthy outgoing version of me. And my boyfriend got me another one for Christmas! The first one is "white" (color of plain cheesecake) and this one is "black" (color of brownie batter). My boyfriend has a miniature bear that came on a russell stover valentines candy box I gave him. He's "hispanic" (caramel color). We don't have kids, so we have them instead! 

[steamy]

I did some a few years back, it was very interesting, it actually led me to understand my dreams better.

I think I worked through it too quickly, but really the idea is to go back and rediscover your neglected child, the thing is that you should try to work this into your normal life so that you are able to stay in touch with your child.

I used the book:

Recovery of Your Inner Child by Lucia Capacchione – 1 Mar 1991

Having done the inner child work I wondered if it would help when my son came along, the interesting thing is that I thought when I hug him that I might think that I am also hugging my inner child, unfortunately the psyche is cleverer than that and it feels distinctly different.