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[Little2Nothing]

I have struggled for over 60 years. It wasn't until recently that I was diagnosed with cptsd.

I was an unwanted child, abandoned at an orphanage. After several years I released back ro my mother's care. She was an alcoholic, married to an alcoholic. My stepfather was brutal. He beat my mother.

During these years I was ridiculed, physically beaten and sexually abused. At 13 I ran away and lived on the street until I was 17.

I'm currently trying to reconcile myself to my past.

[Hope67]

Welcome Flavius1492,  I'm glad you found your way here.  I am sorry that you had those experiences.  I wish you the best with trying to reconcile your past and I hope you'll find support here.
Hope 

[NarcKiddo]

Welcome. I am sorry you had such a dreadful start to your life.

[Kizzie]

A warm welcome to OOTS Flavius.   

That was as NarcKiddo says a dreadful start to your life and should never have happened.  It's what makes me most angry about relational trauma. Society had a responsibility to make sure you were cared for and didn't - such a betrayal.  I know things were like that in our childhood (I am in my 60's), but I cannot fathom how abuse and neglect were ignored like they were. Anyway, if you've read Pete Walker (his book is "CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving"), he talks about the need to get angry to ignite the protective part of us that was silenced in childhood. Sounds like a good response in your case. 

Just my thoughts of course.

[Armee]

 

Welcome! I'm so glad to get a chance to know you on this journey of making sense of the past and present.

[Little2Nothing]

Thanks all. I am hoping to find a path to a better future here. 

[Papa Coco]

Welcome to the forum L2N,

Your story touches my heart. I have noticed that our paths all had unique starting points, but somehow, we all came here with the similar symptoms of C-PTSD. This is a great forum for being in the company of others who understand the twists and turns of navigating our adult lives after having such rocky beginnings.

Welcome!