1 year and counting of Somatic Experiencing therapy

[Redwing1972]

Hi all, I was asked to give a description of my SE experience, so here goes.

Very brief background for context, no triggers...I hope

I am a  69 year old male, caregiver to my wife. I was born in the UK to very unhappy parents, my childhood
was a mixture of everything.

Emigrated to Canada in the 70's. Started to realize I had some issues...lol Went through the mill of many talk therapies,
encounter groups...the whole catastrophe as Zorba would say. A couple of years ago was introduced to the  concept of
trauma, read a few books, and was drawn to the style of therapy described by Peter Levine in 'Waking The Tiger'

It took me three attempts to find a therapist that fit: that I could start to learn to trust, that primarily used a somatic style of therapy, and that had the qualifications to practice with complex trauma clients.

The first sessions were about getting to know each other, as I have had many years of 'talk therapy' my story is easy for me to tell, not so much to feel. The initial sessions also were a training in resources for me, self soothing, calming, learning to reach out
when I need to. Slowly as the sessions went on I actually started to trust this person, to develop the beginnings of a friendship.
I had never learned basic attachment behaviors, so this slow start, while frustrating on one level, was a heart opening experience for me, I will always be grateful for the skill and caring that the therapist demonstrated in those initial months.

In SE as I see it, it is not the description of the trauma that is the most important thing, but the actual body feeling, the felt sense, that is important. The sessions are always different, depending on what is happening in the body/mind. The gentle dipping in and out of the feeling that is uncomfortable allows me to process and clear the trauma, one little bit at a time, without reliving any of the actual events. I never leave a session feeling uncared for as a client and as a friend, a truly remarkable therapy.

The sessions now are mostly a little shared talk to see where I am at at the start of the session then some gentle hands on touch on the therapy table.
At present we are working on  basic attachment and feeling supported, physically and emotionally. Encouraging the ability to ask for support, which has always been a huge issue for me.

When I started this therapy I was hoping for a quick fix, after all I had talked out and felt my 'stuff' for over 30 years...
What I have learned in the last year is that complex trauma can take a long time to heal. All my talking did nothing compared to the last 12 months of body centered SE. I am still working on feeling my feelings in my body and not just in my head, each day brings its challenges, SE is teaching me to to have the resilience, skills and relationships that I have longed for all my life.

I hope this has been a useful description of my SE therapy experience so far....

Redwing

[woodsgnome]

Quick fixes, as you say, are pretty elusive (but still so enticing to dream about!). Still it's great to see you've found some resolution towards a more tolerable time with trauma's lingering and powerful effects.

While it's never comfortable (how could it be?) to deal with this, it sounds like you took the initiative to stick with it to this point. I'm sure there's challenges inherent in any therapy, and presumably you have discussed this with your T. Hope you can keep moving towards clearing out at least some of the leftover pain.

Thanks for sharing your experience. It seems like it's taken quite a while for that style of therapy to take root but if your report is any indication, it might be a worthy addition when it comes to considering therapeutic options.

[Three Roses]

Thanks for this post, somatic experiencing is one of the forms of therapy I'm interested in so it's great to have more info.

[a_bunny]

I'm glad you had such a positive experience with SE.

And thank you so much for sharing this, it's very helpful to me because I am planning to start SE for the first time, hopefully in August with a therapist I had talked to and liked, but is off for the summer. So it's good to hear about others' experiences with it.

[Kizzie]

Ditto on the thanks RedWIng    It sounds like it has really helped you  and in ways that acknowledge how much trauma resides in our body, not just the mind and heart, and gently clears it. 

We are moving close to a larger city end Aug and I have been saving my dedicated health care insurance to try some SE so I am hopeful after hearing about your experience.