Ongoing ssri sea saw - motivation problems

[Boatsetsailrose]

Fed up this week being on anti dep..
Feel like a zombie and restrained in my daily activity. I take it in the evening and the sedation in the morning is difficult to work against. I have tried taking it in the morning but then I'm still sedated and for longer throughout the day.
I've tried several different ones and citalopram is the one that works... I could try to reduce again but the thought of it makes my eyes roll.
When I've come off it before I just love the intimacy of life that comes back and the feeling awake - ALIVE.
Being chemically restrained is bloody frustrating and doing intellectual things hard. Trying to motivate self when a drug is dampening that is like climbing a hill in heavy wind.
Lethargy and sluggishness are not friends I want.
Going for a short jog in the morning helps a lot but having the motivation to do this is another thing.
Concentration and retaining information really are a prob and foggy brain..

Any helpful tips anyone has I'd appreciate.. Hope..