May have to go to hospital again *TW*

[songbirdrosa]

I've been hospitalised for mental health problems twice before. The first time was an emergency admission when I tried to overdose, the second was when my mother took me there because she thought I was going to do something to myself (I was). Both times have been within the last two years, the second was only nine months ago.

I think I'm getting to the point now where I've almost got no other options. The issues I'm facing right now can only be fixed by waiting for my uni to go back in February, and I know I don't have the strength to withstand it for that long. I self-harmed for the first time in a couple of months the other night, and I really want to do it again. I'm kinda afraid that I'll escalate, but at the same time, part of me wants to. I know I'm not ok. I'm not feeding myself, I won't go outside or do anything, it's all the old symptoms.

Maybe I'll see how I go over the next few days and decide.

[Kat]

Going to the hospital wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for you if you're feeling that bad.  For now, please take extra good care of yourself.  I know how powerful the urge to self-harm can be, but please put it off for as long as you possibly can.  Hopefully, if you hold out long enough, the urge will go away.  I'm sure you know some of the other less-harmful things you can do like snapping a rubber band on your wrist or holding an ice cube as long as you can.  Please try something other than truly hurting yourself.  You're too beautiful and good to harm that way.

Be extra gentle and kind to yourself.  You're a wonderful, valuable being.  You deserve nothing but kindness and care.  I'm sending thoughts of warmth and safety your way in hopes you can find some peace and well-being. 

[Rainagain]

Hi

Sorry the pressure is building again.

Is it possible to get some help right now before deciding about hospital admission?

Its not for me to say what you could or should do, I hope you find things to take the pressure off before uni starts again is all.

I wish you well.

[Dee]

I know, going to the hospital is a brave thing to do.  If you feel you are in danger it is a safe place to be.  I went earlier this year and now I look back I am so glad I did.  The hospital saved my life.