The ultimate question?

[Jazzy]

Even before I ask this, it seems like a really stupid question... but hopefully someone will be able to shed some light on something new and helpful. It's pretty much the ultimate question.

What do you do when you know you're walking in to a situation that is very likely to trigger a massive EF (basically a brain hijack), but can't really avoid it?

I'm not really comfortable sharing my main concern, but I will give you another example.

The last therapist I worked with triggered me pretty hard, with a specific topic I warned him about the week before, and then shortly thereafter an intake worker also triggered me hard enough to leave me unable to speak and trembling with rage. It's not an option to avoid all therapists and intake workers. It's probably not even possible to avoid that specific intake worker. Any advice?

[M.R.]

I am sorry I don't really have any advice. :/

What I do in those types of situations is actually very unhealthy, for me anyways. I just tend to 'deal with it' if that's even what you can call it. I tend to do what is needed and keep what is bothering me inside (if I can and it doesn't always work). But I do try to get out of the situation as fast as possible.

Example, I help my grandparents with their business on most weekends. It is in a very public space with ALL kinds of people. And you are constantly interacting while being on your feet on concrete. I still help them because I'm the only one willing to and able to even though my mood is horrible and my anxiety is high. I sacrifice myself because they need help...and its not healthy but its what I do.

So I guess I didn't have a good answer but you might have gotten an idea of something that could potentially be harmful for you to do?

MR

[Blueberry]

Talk myself and ICs through it in advance. e.g. it's now 2017, we're not in the past now, we're safe now, I'll look after you ICs now. e.g. the therapist in the here and now may remind me of e.g. mother or father, but actually isn't.

Maybe send ICs into their Inner Safe Places. maybe even put myself in my Inner Safe Place. Imagine my Inner Helpers.

Self-care as much as possible after the EF, and self-praise. "It was hard, but I made it through." Praise the ICs too.

Some time if possible look at the scene with a T and try and defuse with trauma informed therapy.

[Jazzy]

@MR Thank you for your post. You don't seem very confident in your response, but I appreciate you sharing. It helped me look at the situation from a different angle, and that's very helpful. I wish that was a better situation for you, especially considering it occurs most weekends. I can't help but wonder if there's anything you can do to "tweak" it a bit to be healthier for you.

@Blueberry Thank you for your suggestions as well. They sound like really good suggestions, although I'm not very familiar with some of the things you mention. Will you explain, or provide some reference material for the idea of "inner helpers"? I think you're quite a bit ahead of me, but I'll do my best. I can at least talk through things in advance, and do the self-care and praise bit!