New and confused

[catinapocket]

Hi friends. I am new to this website as well as this illness(?)
I havent been diagnosed with cptsd, but I have with GAD, Major Depression and Panic disorder. Ive been told my childhood was traumatic and that i was traumatized by it (my psychiatrist and therapist told me this after I described some of my childhood to them)
Im not sure why I'm so confused about being told that Im traumatized... Is that normal?
Anyways, I have been researching trauma and such and have found cptsd. I feel like I relate to some of these symptoms and situations... But I dont feel like Id qualify for a diagnosis? I feel like my experiences weren't traumatic enough. I didnt experience sexual or physical abuse at all, but did have a dysfunctional family life and emotional abuse growing up.
Right now I feel very disconnected from the world and constantly worry about having to continue the rest of my life dealing with this.
Sorry this is all over the place. Im kinda numb and confused right now. I guess Im wondering if anyone else has felt this way... Also hoping it's ok to be on here even tho I havent been officially diagnosed.. Thanks

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome, catinapocket! We're glad you're here.

You don't need a diagnosis to be here. Cptsd is new enough that it can even be problematic getting an accurate diagnosis, so if you strongly identify we welcome you with open arms.

It's completely normal to feel confused!  You must have so many unanswered questions and conflicting emotions. Don't worry, the dust will settle and things will start getting more clearly defined.

Being traumatized is a subjective experience, unique to each person. Just because others may have more graphic stories doesn't mean your pain isn't real.  Psychological abuse/neglect can be very traumatizing. Children are dependent on loving, healthy and involved caregivers for normal, natural development. If you didn't experience that, damage was unavoidable.

Although your history will always remain your history, you can rise above it and recover! There are many exciting new discoveries and therapies being developed. This is NOT a life sentence.

We welcome you with open arms! You have found a group of people who can understand it, have lived it, have found or are finding their personal answers.

[catinapocket]

Thank you, Three Roses. I havent heard of cpstd until recently!
Thank you for understanding. Although I don't feel too great at the moment, I'm glad to have found this fourm.

[Missingmermaid]

Being traumatized is a subjective experience, unique to each person. Just because others may have more graphic stories doesn't mean your pain isn't real.  Psychological abuse/neglect can be very traumatizing. Children are dependent on loving, healthy and involved caregivers for normal, natural development. If you didn't experience that, damage was unavoidable.

Although your history will always remain your history, you can rise above it and recover! There are many exciting new discoveries and therapies being developed. This is NOT a life sentence.

We welcome you with open arms! You have found a group of people who can understand it, have lived it, have found or are finding their personal answers.

im new as well and so confused about a lot but three roses just made me feel l hopeful and I don't know how but thank you. Catina pocket welcome and I hope you find the support you deserve here.

[Kizzie]

Hi Catina and a very warm welcome to OOTS 

My background was like yours, emotional abuse versus physical and/or sexual abuse.  It took decades for me to finally realize that all abuse is ultimately psychological/emotional in that it damages our very sense of self and worth and safety. My FOO were covert narcissists which meant it was even harder to figure out (that they were abusive), but I came across our sister site Out of the FOG one day and that's when I realized what they were doing and why I felt so awful. 

As Three Roses has pointed out, there's no need for an official diagnosis to be a member here.  If the symptoms resonate with you then you are very likely in the right place. While it's unfortunate that any of us need to be here, most of us find it a relief not to be alone any more. It's hard to feel different when there are so many of us.   

[ChaosQueen]

Hi Catinapocket,
I felt the same way as you. I went to a trauma out-patient clinic and told the psychiatrist that I found I had so many symptoms of C-PTSD, but my childhood could not possibly be traumatic enough. No sexual or physical abuse. Like you, "just" dysfunctial family and emotional abuse. But then I told the doc about my childhood, and he confirmed that emotional abuse can definately lead to PTSD. My therapist also thinks that my childhood was surely traumatic enough. And I read on the internet that highly sensitive people, like me, are especially vulnerable to being traumatized. I've been doing trauma therapy for one and a half years now. I think I am starting to value myself a little bit more, but I still can't get any grip on my life... But it is a long process of recovery, I suppose.
I wish you all the best,
ChaosQueen