Process of cptsd

[leebee]

I'm new here, tho my cptsd has been with me for awhile. In the shortest nutshell i can explain: i was raped violently for a period of three days 20 years ago. At the time drug addiction also complicated the recovery process.A coucouple of years later i saught treatment, with the focus on addiction. Years tapped by, i met someone, got married & life was peachy for awhile, until we decided to migrate from South Africa to Australia. My husband became crazy, & i went through a lot of drama with threats & cops. Needless to say the migration failed & i got a court order & a divorce from a forteen year marriage. Alone in a strange town, i fell apart, unable to deal with terrifying flashes from my trauma. It took a long time to get help & diagnoses were wrong. I crashed in three years & became this person i don't know & rather despise. Eventually with the help from a friend in Australia, i got more free time to deal with this. This is my basic question: i am once again surrounded by strangers, but being friends mainly with my Australian friend they are supportive under those auspices. They have an idea that i have ptsd, & my Australian friend, having a hard time with all of this wants me to share. Now, dealing with all my previous friend loss, i have severe difficulty including people about this, but its clear that my friend needs that network...how do i do this, how far do i go...when i really have an off day, that makes everyone uncomfortable, do i just shut the door rather with an excuse. I keep fearing that they will all run away.

[Kizzie]

Hi LeeBee and a very warm welcome to OOTS    You have certainly been a through a lot and it's understandable why you are afraid   

My thought as I was reading your post about your friend wanting you to share is what if you do and s/he can't deal with it and does turn away? My point is that it might be wise to get a larger support net in place so if that does happen it would not be as devastating.  It might be an idea to even say this to your friend; that you would like to share but aren't ready and see what s/he says as a gauge of whether or not s/he has your best interests at heart.  If so then s/he will likely be prepared to wait and will not push you.

The other thing that came to mind is that AU has a great organization for survivors of childhood abuse - The Blue Knot Foundation (http://www.blueknot.org.au/) which might be useful in terms of helping you to build a support network there. 

Glad you found your way here and keep on posting, it helps 

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome! We're glad you're here.

Sometimes people want to know because they're nosy; sometimes they really want to help. I think it's the former types that are the ones who then distance themselves. You could tell your friend that you've lost some friends thru sharing, and that you want to go slowly here as her friendship means a lot to you. Just because someone asks for info doesn't mean you're obligated to give it.

Thanks for adding your voice to the mix! 

[caroline]

Hi leebee!  Just wanted to say hi i guess, and that i am new here too and am atm thinking of who is safe to talk to and how to work it all out so it is safe for me to say something.  (Got good advice on my post earlier in symptoms of cptsd section of the forum).  Glad you found this site, but so sorry you had too   I'm sure you'll get loads of help here - I know i have had amazing support already. Hope you are doing okay today/tonight x