Hello

[Sandstone]

Hello. Just wanted to introduce myself. Iv been here a while in the background but have felt very comfortable here. I think i found you guys at the right time. This place has answered a lot of questions for me. Thing is tho i seem to go in circles. Right now im back at 'am i over reacting?' 'Was it really so bad?'  And 'should i even be here?' Anyway just wanted to check in and say hi and thank you for being here.

[Three Roses]

  Hi!

You're not over-reacting, I can almost guarantee that. I'll bet 100% of us here have heard "You're over reacting" as an attempt to control us, invalidate our feelings, and continue to manipulate us.

And, it probably really was that bad. Maybe worse.

You really, really should be here. 

[Sandstone]

Hi Three Roses and thank you for your reply, its appreciated. This group is amazing and has been a godsend for me.

[doodle22]

Welcome Sandstone, I am new here too and learning as I read. It has helped me alot to find understanding and validation...the feeling of not being alone in this journey!!

[Kizzie]

Hi and a very warm welcome to OOTS Sandstone   Growing up with a covert NPDM I asked myself that same question for literally decades so I can really relate to that back and forth feeling.  What finally helped me to answer the question once and for all (and it was "No, I'm not being sensitive or over-reacting"), was reading and posting on our sister site Out of the FOG (http://outofthefog.website/).  Once I could recognize my FOO's behaviour for what it was, even label it (gaslighting, hoovering, triangulating, minimizing, etc),  all my symptoms made sense and I was able to start recovering in earnest. I belong here, and if what members are saying here resonates with you then you belong here too. 

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hello sandstone
Thank u for posting ... I really relate ..
Quote '
am i over reacting?' 'Was it really so bad?'  And 'should i even be here'

I still get this Was it really that bad ? 'Am I over reacting?'
I don't get it that often now, and when I do I can bat it off.. All the identification I've got here and sharing has helped... Books I read
Pete walker and also 'the body keeps the score - von Bessel
Help me to say 'yes that's me, yes I get that ' 'yes I have cptsd and I have hope and a real chance at recovery '
The 'was it really that bad ' for me used to be because I wasn't physical or sexual mistreated ( well once physical but it was emotional / psychological / neglect
Somehow harder to quantify for me
I was often given the message of 'stop being so dramatic when I expressed so the 'over reacting ? Part it seems comes from this ...

Keep coming back
I am glad you are here
It's sometimes hard to face my internal world and so forms of denial can come up and that's ok because we are aware enough to question it

[Sandstone]

Thanks for the welcome everyone much appreciated.
Hi doodle22, yes being here feels a bit like home, or at least how home should feel, validated and understood. Im glad you're feeling that way too.

Hi Kizzie and yes it really has helped to find names for things like triangulation etc it makes it all become so much clearer.  I never thought id ever come to this and im so thankful for this place and you guys. Im a bit rubbish at saying what i want to, its in my head but cant always get it out. Anyway im just glad to be here.

Hi Boatsetsailrose, yes the doubts are there and i have those books too and its like light bulb moments lol i was mainly neglected and had 2 alcoholic parents. Theres lots to it as im sure there is for you too. It really is a relief to be finally understood.

[Kizzie]

  Sandstone