Alternatives to smoking (I'm a freeze type)

[Indigochild]

Hello everyone

Don't know if any of you have any ideas in response to my question, but I thought id ask and see what peopel have to say.

Does anyone know a similar healthy alternative (or an unhealthy alternative that is still better than smoking), to smoking?
I smoke to numb out, I like the calm high it gives me.
I have started smoking in response to even mild triggers (probably some subcontious way to self damage as appeased to self harm)

Also, i have started smoking during awful times of upheaval in life and or being triggered majorly.
Does anyone know of anything that can stop flashbacks apart from the Pete Walker steps?
This would be helpful so that i dont keep on smoking during flashbacks and also for when i am out or in public and i can not express the flashback or follow the Pete Walker steps.

Any advice would be welcome. I am getting ill from smoking and am coughing a lot, I know its unhealthy and sometimes i lie awake at night worrying about getting cancer.

Thanks so much for reading.

[arpy1]

i never smoked but i know from a friend i had where i lived before, that she used things like nicotine gum, nicotine patches, and those electronic 'cigarettes'  that give you a hit without smoke.  if you're in uk you can usually go to the dedicated smoking nurse at your gp surgery and they will prescribe them for, i think, six months to help you get off smoking, if that's what you want to do.  otherwise they are available over the pharmacy counter, in uk, at least, but i think they are a little expensive. don't know if this helps? 

[Indigochild]

Hi Arpy1, and thank you so much for your reply to this.

Thankyou for the suggestion. Im not actually addicted- thank god.
It sounds strange perhaps, but i worry that gum etc will induce cancer, i have heard terrible things about them causing mouth cancer etc. _ I know cigarettes are no better however!!
The smoking is lessening. I know it may start up again if i end up having day / week long flashbacks. When things are good, there is nt much of an inclination to smoke and I'm so happy about that.
Its after smoking heavily for a while that i am liking the high and calm i get from it, and then i end up carrying on doing it for temptation rather than to self sabotage.

I hope that i will never need help to stop smoking.
Thanks a lot. 

[tired]

I tend to go to food or cleaning. Right now I'm on food. I find that once I get myself hooked on a particular food or other habit it sticks and it serves the same purpose.

Think it through and find some compulsive habits that aren't terrible.  For me, it can't be completely harmless because I have to trick my mind into thinking I'm hurting myself so it has to be close to junk food.  Or if it's a spending addiction I will channel the compulsive spending into things I need anyway like hoarding tp or shampoo. 

List the functions it has for you. For me, when I have that trigger situation, I need  something that 1. is comforting 2. is slightly punishing because I have to appease the demons who require that I do penance.  3. I also crave a connection to a person so  I  like to find something given to me so I feel like someone else is helping me, like going to a deli counter so another person will make me some food.  I watch tv compulsively, the same shows over and over, because I imagine a connection to the characters.

Hope that helps.

[Indigochild]

Omg tired!!
That does help! Thank you sooo much!
I will have a good think about this.
I am the same, with swapping with addictions.
I am the same with hurting myself and comforting / taking me away from the pain / situation causing pain at the time.

I have struggled with food and spending too.
I am trying to find as you say, healthier addictions that are still damaging.
Thanks a bunch!! 

[Indigochild]

Hey Tired,
if you are able to respond, no worries if not,
but i was wondering-
Im really struggling with this.
I need something that gives me that dissociative high felt in my head that disassociating and smoking gives me.
Do you or anybody else have any ideas?
If I'm going to go about my future, i dont want to risk getting cancer and lung problems.
Thanks and hope your are ok.

[tired]

I find that anything physically intense does that . Some examples: running around in the cold weather, getting up super early, taking a shower and alternating hot and cold, fasting for a day, intense ocd cleaning and organizing, throwing away old crap.  Something simple and repetitive and not mentally taxing like simple cleaning and don't worry if it's kooky to vacuum the ceiling. Repaint the house . The same color just slap on a fresh coat and that'll keep you busy for a long time.  Rake leaves.  Collect rocks with an obsessive mind. Make a giant rock garden. Become addicted to a particular brand of water or other food and make a rule like I will only buy drinks that are strawberry or I will only buy things that come in glass jars. 

Hobbies that are unconventional and extreme and exhausting and easy work for me.  It has to be slightly unacceptable and slightly possibly unhealthy.  And it has to be all consuming and sustainable. Mac and cheese addiction doesn't work.

These are just my personal experiences.

[Indigochild]

Hey Tired and thanks so much for your reply

Thankyou for your suggestions. I should try them.  I'm looking for something that is a quick fix for when I'm out and about- that kind of gives you the same high and heady feeling that disassociating gives you. maybe thats bad but I'm in therapy and will break out of it sure enough probably...soemtimes life is stressful and I'm one of thoes hide away types.

[tired]

Don't think of it as bad. It is what it is. 

[Indigochild]

Thank you tired.

[Indigochild]

Don't know if i should put this here...
Im unfortunatley, still smoking, and am looking at triggers for it with T.

I know that a lot of it is living with narcissistic mother, that it is ingrained in me to not do well, to fail, biases maybe somewhere i believe i dont deserve it, and i believe that it wont last, and that came from her...there was a great website on it...
talking about how NM doesnt want scapegoat child to do well..so they sabatarge it, thus, the child now adult, will self sabotage as well.

But it doesnt help...i think that what i need is a person to just sit by me, hear whats going on in my mind, and help me to calm down, in a nice imaginary world.
And of course i would never expect or put that on anyone  - ever, and i DONT and CANT ever talk about these things to anyone.

I woke up today, late- i overslept.  T says i have adrenal fatigue, and daily stressors - flashbacks, inner critic, paranoia, worry about flashbacks, feeling terrified in the house alone whilst partner was out last night...
this all adds up to strain on the body, thus I'm so exhausted i end up oversleeping near to the weekend.
I was meant to be going on a trip out with the centre that i volunteer at, not too far, just a walk near to the centre..and they were going to the cafe that the park has.
Sure, i was worried that it would be triggering....but thats no why i didnt go, i just could not get up out of bed, it feels literally like such a struggle, i have hypersomnia.
Its 2.30pm and i have only just gotten up.
My thoughts are foggy when i wake, but as i made my usual cup of tea, i stated to feel unease.
My partner tried to wake me, as he was going too, and said, *i thought you wanted to do things on weekends*,
which is what i said to him before- i told him i hate oversleeping.

But his comment made me worry that he doesnt understand the fatigue, that i did want to do stuff, just sometimes its just so hard, especially after triggers ie.therapy, or later on in the week.
If i dont have to get up (sometimes even if i do have to), my body will just sleep through my alarm...
but if he keeps waking me after i have overslept for say, a day or two, i can get up if i really want to, if i have something good planned that day to get up for.

Then i thought, god, what would everyone think as i said i was going for the walk, would they think i was lazy and that i never want to come on trips with them...
I dont even work a proper job at the moment and i cant even go to the walk...
I felt like i had failed and let myself down...

I tried talking to my inner child, and it didn't work, but i did talk to myself (haha lock me up now lol)...
and i realised as i talked myself through the worries, that maybe they are all flashbacks,
Inner critic ones...and worrying about partner neglecting...
weather his fault or not.

I thought-
.Partner might not know or understand properly- thats not his fault
.People might not think these things about me, and if they do, they just dont understand-
thats what my T would say
.T understands the fatigue i am experiencing
.T says that it doesnt mean I'm a failure for not working at the moment...
and that i should take time out for myself

its like i have a desire to constantly be buisy- if there are no triggers in that busyness,
and i think that my unease and feeling that i just want to ignore what is going on in my head, leads me to wanting to stay busy, to run away, but i dont always have the energy and i know that running away all the time isn't healthy.
Knowing that they are flashbacks, doesnt always help.
And i knew that this morning, but i still wanted to smoke.
I need to sort myself out and dont know how- therapy takes forever.
I need to stop smoking.

thanks, just wanted to share. Maybe you can relate...

[Wife#2]

Indigo,

I'm a CPTSD spouse, and a smoker (we both are), but I do have a couple of ideas about getting that dissociated 'block-the-world-out' feeling without the cigarette.

1) Stuff some tissue into a cigarette sized straw, cut it to cigarette length. When you want a cigarette, the tissue acts like the filter, giving you that draw sensation, the straw gives your fingers the actions - which is part of what sooths I think.

2) Self-hypnotize. It doesn't have to be extreme or long or deep. Pick an object anywhere and focus on JUST it. Think about only what you are seeing, feeling, hearing in THAT moment. Make sure you're somewhere that you'll be safe as you 'zone' out - like on a park bench or in a restaurant. I have done this since childhood when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I used to walk to a creek near my house and sit down and pick a rock and just stare at it. I'd listen to the creek, my own breathing, my vision would change sometimes from the intense focus but I'd stick with it until I had nothing else in my mind but the color of the rock, the texture of water on my feet, the wind blowing through the nearby trees. I'd lose track of time and just BE.

I don't know if any of this helps or has already been suggested. Either way, I hope you find your path and are able to put down those cigarettes.

[Indigochild]

Hi there, Wife (cant find the symbol) ...2

Thankyou SO much for your reply- i cant tell you how much i appreciate it.

I wil try the tissue straw idea.  Thought about E cigarettes too, apparently they are no better for you, but you are inhalling vapour instead of smoke.

It sounds like of like mindfulness i thin what you are talking about only it doesnt involved being mindful of what you are feeling...i think thats what you are saying.
Maybe my safe object that T recomended- or rather, grounding tool, would help here.
I hate it because its to remind me that i am safe in the present, but i dont *feel* safe so it doesnt work, but it might as a distraction, i could use that to focus on- thanks for that. I will try it.

I do do this by watching stuff on my laptop. We dont have TV.
Part of me is beginning to hate ignoring stuff. But the smoking helps. T said that as i smoke, i am beginning to pay attention to whats going on in my head, as I'm not getting that smokers head high anymore, only when i havent smoked for a good few hours .. such as when i get up late the next day.

This hasnt been suggested no.
Thank you for the help and the encouragement. I do hope that one day i will be able to put down the cigs.
Im sorry that you had to zone out as a child also, I'm sorry if you were on your own dealing with your stuff.
I have heard about people doing this before. I think I'm just ...feeling alone...and i dont know how to comfort myself. It will come in time i hope.
I guess you are acknowledging that you are hurt, with your method, but you are not destroying yourself at the same time. I think self destruction plays a big part and i know i need to work through it.
I will try your method. Seriously, thank you. 

[Wife#2]

Indigo,

HUGS to you, I do believe you'll find your path. Oh, and you can just call me Wife2, I'll get it 

I'm glad I was able to help in some small way. Just remember to be kind to yourself whether you quit for an hour, a day, a week or forever. It's all a win for your body.

Do stay away from the e-cigarettes. I got one, it made my throat raw and I still wanted a regular cigarette. H still teases me about it sometimes. We both got one at my urging and we both hated them. They sit on my dresser collecting dust.

One more 

Wife2