Weight fluctuations, body dysmorphia, and sensitivity to comments re that

[Teddy bear]

Hello,

I hope this is the right place to post this.

I was feeling very tired today and decided to chat with an acquaintance who also has a psychiatric history.

In general, it was a casual conversation, but I didn't like her questions about my body size and her comments afterward. Though she said it was okay—a normal size—probably trying to be reassuring, I felt like I was under a microscope.

Over the past few years, I've had an ongoing battle with my weight, which I was gaining because of psychiatric medications. (Almost everyone has this problem.) Currently, the medication should have a minimal effect, but I still haven't been able to get back into the shape I'm used to this year.

So I felt disappointed after her remarks. It also triggered my body dysmorphia, I think.

(What I was trying to convey to her, aside from expressing my feelings, is that I've read research suggesting caffeine can interact with antipsychotics. This may result in higher BMI and cholesterol. She dismissed these facts—even though she's a coffee drinker, she said it's fine for her.)

I've made an appointment with another doctor today to discuss these issues as well.

Have you experienced any similar problems: weight fluctuations, dysmorphia, or sensitivity to comments like this?

Thank you

[NarcKiddo]

I've struggled with overweight and obesity for the vast (no pun intended) majority of my life. Not from meds, simply from trauma and comfort eating. Not helped by terrible shaming from my mother from around the age of 10 onwards. My sibling verged on anorexia so we have both reacted, just in different ways.

I always felt very self-conscious about everything to do with my body. Not just the weight because my mother did not limit her nasty remarks to my weight alone. My hair, eyes, teeth, feet - all were fair game. Fortunately I have not had to deal with many personal comments in my adult life (other than from my mother) but I did have various medical reports which commented (factually and necessarily) on my size. That stung.

As far as medics are concerned I found it felt better if I grasped the nettle and made it clear before they raised the subject of my weight that I was aware of it. It didn't then feel like a horrible ambush of the sort my mother made.

I don't think comments about someone else's physical appearance or size are ever acceptable unless the person has specifically asked for them. It sounds like you did not and your friend brought up the subject. I know that feeling of being under a microscope and it is horrible. She may have meant well but I am not surprised you felt disappointed afterwards and I'm sorry that happened. I think even compliments can be difficult and land wrong. I'd certainly never comment on someone else's weight loss, for example, unless they had personally told me they were trying to lose. I generally limit compliments to someone's clothing choices or the colour of their manicure.

[TheBigBlue]

  to both of you.

Teddybear, I hear you. There are the active shamers and then the more indirect shaming that comes from "helpers," even when they think they're being reassuring. Both can land as being put under a microscope, especially when you're already tired and vulnerable.

If you haven't seen this thread yet, you might find it interesting.
https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=17004.0�

Especially the science behind the connection between CPTSD and obesity.

[...] Multiple independent meta-analyses (i.e., studies that pool data from many original studies) report that Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) exposure is associated with higher odds of obesity. [...]

Given that context, it makes complete sense that comments about body size - even "neutral" or reassuring ones - can be activating. Your reaction isn't over-sensitivity; it's an understandable response to having your body treated as a topic rather than you being met as a person. I'm glad you're listening to yourself and getting support around this. 💛