Crossroads (Alternative Therapy) might be controversial, confronting abuser.

[Annegirl]

Since my mother emailed me showing me she wanted a relationship with me and telling my cousins they could stay with her but had denied me even going into her house since my son was 2. Which was also partly what I initiated by walking out when my mother shouted at my son at that age which made me afraid she could physically abuse him like she did to me, my T and I spoke for weeks and weeks. I was very upset and showing many signs of stress and guilt etc.
One day my T told me to make a decision and that I was at a crossroads. Either I cut off all contact from my mother, block emails etc (which i have done for up to a year in the past, Cutting off phone etc) or I speak to her and make contact for the sake of closure and finding peace inside me and for my mother's sake. I told my T I didn't have peace in any of those decisions. My T offered a Skype session where my mother would be there if she agreed and I could tell her what I needed to and we could possibly find closure. She told me she wanted me to ask my mother the hard questions, why she came at me with an axe threatening to kill me so I had to hide for about an hour while she was roaming around looking for me with that axe.
This meant I had to email my mother. I did and she didn't answer me, then my T gave me a suggestion how to write it to her (my T worked with me a full 2 days without pay, she was so loving ad dedicated through all this and answered every little detail even when i got angry she answered me lovingly)

This email suggestion was speaking lovingly to my mother saying that "I yearned for a normal mother-daughter relationship." I reacted badly to this and told my T I cannot write this I have never spoken like this to my mother and she will mock me, she has never responded well to me telling her anything vulnerable. My T responded that I can take as many sessions as needed to make my decision, as it sounds like I'm not ready to make a decision yet. I spoke to my siblings and husband and they all said they think its a great idea if we make contact and i can say what we haven't ever said. In the end i thought it would be stupid not to at least try it and by my mother's reaction i could see whether this would be no contact forever or at least find peace to know if she loves or hates me.

So i ended up writing the email to my T's way and suggestion. My mother responded that she'll never be the perfect mother I'm wishing for. But that she has and always will love me. She was also defensive at times and said she will never talk to anyone about anything anymore as in the past she has been hurt a lot, but said if she's the cause of my problems then so be it and it was probably good for me and my family to have moved away.

I was very surprised by my mother's response and I felt much more peace and relief. I cried.
Since then contact is still minimal but I and my children skyped my parents and my father saw the youngest two children for the first time via Skype.

My twin brother cried when i told him what happened over the phone. I started to get very excited and expected it all to be "normal" now but my T kept working with me and told me not to expect anything other than the peace of now knowing.

I recently talked to my T again and she said that it is very beautiful and heartwarming what happened but not to expect anything from my mother. Just the peace of having found closure. My T also told me she will never be tired of talking to me about this stuff and she will always be here for me when i need her.

[Annegirl]

THANK YOU so much BeHealthy. 
You made my day!!!!!!!
I thought there would be a lot of controversy, but i am so glad you see it how it is and encouraged me about it.
 

[Kizzie]

How wonderful for you Anne, such a hard won sense of peace but you made it through!  Yay you    And what an amazing T you have, she's definitely a keeper 

[Annegirl]

Thank you SO much Kizzie!!!!    <3 I appreciate your reply so much.

[Kizzie]

We've missed you around here Anne    but so glad to hear you're doing well 

[Annegirl]

Thank you so much for that Kizzie. I have been missing you all too, I am full on homeschooling and trying to stay busy. Things are still up and down but it really helps to be able to come back here and talk to you friends.