Hi

[delema]

Hi my name is Delema, ive just been diagnosed with cptsd after years of not knowing what was wrong with me. I'm now dealing with reliving the ......... from my childhood which I'm petrified in doing.  I feel so lost like I'm drowning, having flashbacks of emotions but not visions? Apart from Dr's I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Can anyone help?

[Trees]

Welcome Delema,  I am sorry you are having a hard time but your experiences will sound familiar to many of us here. 

Like you, I've had lots of flashbacks of emotions rather than visions.  I spent a long time drowning in terror reliving the emotions of my childhood.  It has become easier with the passage of time.

Please try to take as good care of yourself as possible.  Try to eat good food and get exercise if you can manage it.  I recommend Pete Walker's book, "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving."  It has helped me a lot to understand that there are many people like us out there.  It has helped me find meaning in my experiences and to understand how important it is to learn to love and care for the abused child within my soul.

I hope you will stay with us here and join us as we try to help and comfort each other.  All the best to you and hugs, too            

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hello
I can relate to 'the fear' and it getting so overwhelming and really uncomfortable -
Terror
I feel it was important for me to say to therapist how scared I felt this has taken me a while as I just didn't seem to be able to verbalise it in the past.. I never said it in my family and I never said it in my earlier recovery .. Just saying the words 'I feel so scared' is healing and can then be helped to talk about what my fears are --
Its normal to feel like this no one wants to relive it but what we do is talk about it in a safe and therapeutic context with doc/ therapist and that is very different we are off loading it not relieving it per se
Things that have helped / help me are
Learning some mindfulness I found a good app called 'headspace' the 1st level is free and that what I use.. Breathing techniques - exercise - walking is v good find a hill to climb - any kind of yoga / stretching -- find a group for mental health in your area and have a space to be around others where u can talk about what u are going through
And writing a journal where can express stuff
And remember the feelings are normal and will pass and things will get better we are strong when we face things and it gives us more strength congratulate yourself on the actions u are taking and find a compassionate voice for yourself pretend to be your own best friend