2020 Trauma & Attachment Summit (8 day free conference)

[Hope67]

Hi everyone,
I just registered for this 2020 Trauma & Attachment Summit, which is from 30th September 2020 to 7th October 2020 - so it's an 8 day free conference. 
https://attachmentsummit.com/
Just putting the link incase anyone else is interested.  It looks like it could be good.
Hope 

[Blueberry]

Thanks Hope I registered and I watched something really interesting today.
Host: Diane Poole Heller (DPH); Presenter: Lisa Ferentz (LF);  Topic: Trauma and the Therapeutic Alliance. Navigating Transference and Counter-Transference

Here are my notes:

Ts need to depathologise!
DPH mentioned "obligatory projection" in a therapeutic relationship and that it takes place both ways - client to T, T to client. She also said you "can't do" therapy without relationship. LF didn't disagree per se but instead she went straight on to talk about traumatic transference as being something different from 'normal', 'basic' transference though normal and basic are both my words.

LF: First instance of traumatic transference is that a client assumes the dysfunctional relationship system they grew up in will continue in the therapeutic relationship. The client is often not even aware of this assumption; the T is often not aware either. For example, clients often try to please the T. No way do they want to risk the relationship by disagreeing with the T!

Clients often come suspicious, defensive and hypervigilant and with the idea that getting close=getting hurt.
T needs to realise where this is coming from! i.e. from the client learning these behaviours as a child in order to survive in a dysfunctional, dangerous environment and almost always continuing these behaviours to at least some degree in subsequent relationships. [Most of us here on the forum experience that daily more or less, depending on degree of recovery]. It is really important for the T to depathologize this. So NOT sigh inwardly and think: "another Borderline client". No! This client is traumatised and s/he cannot simply leave those defences in the waiting room. In fact, clients showing suspicion, hypervigilance and even defensiveness are presenting the T with a gift. They are showing the T in a non-verbal way what went on in past relationships especially in FOO and showing part of where the trauma comes from. The T should also realise that said suspicion, hypervigilance, defensiveness may go on for a long, long time in the therapeutic relationship. Years even. Again, these are not behaviours the client can leave in the waiting room.

The T should not take any of the clients' behaviour personally. Otherwise T will get into counter-transference and will not be able to hold a safe place/space for the client.

A therapeutic relationship is an ongoing entity. Clients will begin to 'test' the relationship, although they are often not aware that this is what they are doing. e.g. they will often come late or not bring their money. They may be testing to see if T reacts the way the parents or partner react(ed). [When this was mentioned, a light went on in my head: I missed the train a couple of times on my way to T and had to phone and say "Sorry missed train, can't come at all." So now I know: I was testing! My T 'failed' the test. He merely said after the second time: "if it happens again, you'll have to pay for the session." He didn't even express any anger. It was just a plain cause-and-effect statement. Months later, I actually did miss the train again and I was astonished when he said that I didn't have to pay. So now my idea is that he might have thought I wasn't testing anymore, so no need to set that boundary? I have no idea if I was or not because it was all unconscious to me.]

The type of clients talked about here often developed what is called a disorganised attachment style. The more disorganised attachment in the client's history and the longer the disorganised attachment style went on for, the longer it is going to take a client to heal. LF allows clients who need it to come long-term e.g a decade or more.  She mentioned as an example a client who mentioned after I think 20 years that she really thought she could trust LF now, or something to that effect.

It may take a client 7-10 years to even tell T their whole history. Apparently some Ts label clients as 'need-to-deceive'. T needs to realise that the client is not consciously deceiving them by not mentioning some large instance of abuse. In sadistic abuse e.g., the abuser is using the pain or fear that is expressed by the person against them. So people abused by sadists may learn to hide their pain or fear as a survival method. Smile through pain etc. Or just not say anything. It's not deceipt on the part of the client that they continue this in all ensuing relationships including with T!

- - - - -  --
Going to practise some self-care and go to bed. Hope to complete my notes on here tomorrow.

If anybody is interested in this particular topic it's showing till 4th Oct. 6am ET (Eastern North-American timezone, I suppose).

[Blueberry]

I still intend to complete my notes, however...

I've just watched the final talk, which is by Peter Levine. It was so profound. I've tried to read some of his work before and couldn't get into it. Hearing him talk was so much easier, and seeing how his facial expressions changed as he talked, and how his voice changed or showed emotion. Wow! I really recommend it. It's available till 6:30am ET on Thursday.

Just a little TW about an hour into the video (it's 1.5 hrs long iirc) where there's a real life documentary of a cheetah chasing an impala. It all ends well for the impala actually but still tense moments before. The scene is not sprung on you unawares though. Peter mentions it in advance. So you can stop and scroll forwards a few minutes.

[Rogue84]

Thanks so much for heads up! I juuust was able to watch the last talk by Peter Levine (After it, it was no longer available on the website, so it seems like it was meant to be a little) and it was incredibly touching and informative, especially the part about baby Jack. I am looking into finding a somatic experience therapist and this was an extra gentle push in that direction!

[Blueberry]

I'm glad watching it was helpful for you! The bit about Baby Jack was incredibly touching and Peter Levine's work with the little guy just awe-inspiring.