Recent posts
#1
General Discussion / Re: progress notes nov 25
Last post by dollyvee - Today at 11:55:56 AMQuote from: JamesG3 on December 03, 2025, 08:58:33 AMThe thing is, that the ADHD was the missing component in my C-PTSD story. It was the gift to my protagonists, the instability in me that justified the condescension, bullying and neglect. It gave them fuel to undermine my boundaries and my privacy. And when the trauma moments reached their absolute crescendo, it made me less and less able to control my feelings, and my focus and my self moderation went to pieces, which, of course, made their lousy, petty behaviour even easier. As the trauma hit, my self control went with it, and shame was to follow.
James this is a fascinating connection. I have always searched why my boundaries often seem permeable to others around me, trying to get a "rise" out of me, and often succeeding. Why wasn't I "strong" enough to keep it out, it must be something within me that I haven't "dealt with" yet. I had a look into ADHD a while ago and was quite interested how it and trauma symptoms overlap. I posted some things on the forum. Again, I though, oh well maybe if I just dealt with the trauma as, and afterall, as a scapegoated child it was me, I was the problem and the one who had to change. Interestingly too, my t at the time seemed reluctant to label things as ADHD (citing Gabor Mate eetc), but I don't think it's always as simple as if I just work harder, I can change this (as you mentioned). I've also been looking into and adjusting things health wise that can contribute to "anxiety," but perhaps there is another piece here again. Thank you for posting this.
Sending you support,
dolly
#2
General Discussion / Re: progress notes nov 25
Last post by JamesG3 - Today at 10:08:39 AMThanks both.
I've never cut my rope, because I'm not prepared to make anyone's job easier. You can be gaslit by monsters to thinking whatever brand of nonsense they are peddling, but they are the ones to pity, these dreadful behaviours come from fear, cowardice and failure. Pity them, then walk away and let them rot in whatever pond they think is normal. It's not normal.
Narcissists and psychotics are actually very small in number, but their effect is huge. But we have to try and see the good stuff, the good people, and we need to smell the flowers despite them. And we have to just ignore their enablers and apologists too. Heaven knows why those people exist. They do tho. In some ways they are more of a problem, least ways they were for me. I think they will always exist tho, so we'd better brace ourselves and know that we will have to let more than just our abusers go if we are to live our best lives.
I'm hungry for life now. Won't be held back.... nope, nope, nope.
I've never cut my rope, because I'm not prepared to make anyone's job easier. You can be gaslit by monsters to thinking whatever brand of nonsense they are peddling, but they are the ones to pity, these dreadful behaviours come from fear, cowardice and failure. Pity them, then walk away and let them rot in whatever pond they think is normal. It's not normal.
Narcissists and psychotics are actually very small in number, but their effect is huge. But we have to try and see the good stuff, the good people, and we need to smell the flowers despite them. And we have to just ignore their enablers and apologists too. Heaven knows why those people exist. They do tho. In some ways they are more of a problem, least ways they were for me. I think they will always exist tho, so we'd better brace ourselves and know that we will have to let more than just our abusers go if we are to live our best lives.
I'm hungry for life now. Won't be held back.... nope, nope, nope.
#3
Physical Issues / Re: The Body Keeps The Score (...
Last post by Ran - Today at 01:05:55 AMI havent't finished it either. I want to as I've been able to relate to some stuff and it is definetly hard to read.
#4
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: new here - still in the st...
Last post by Ran - Today at 01:04:13 AMI know the feeling. I'm mostly processing in Chatgpt too.
Yes, it is all exhausting. I relate to your post deeply. I'm so sorry how your friend acted.
I hope you find some relatableness and feel less alone in the forum.
Yes, it is all exhausting. I relate to your post deeply. I'm so sorry how your friend acted.
I hope you find some relatableness and feel less alone in the forum.
#5
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: New here
Last post by Ran - Today at 12:53:37 AMWelcome! Sorry to hear about the housing situation. I hope things get better. I love being out in the nature too.
Sorry to hear about the housing situation. I hope things get better. I love being out in the nature too. #6
Recovery Journals / Re: Ran's journey
Last post by Ran - Today at 12:46:08 AMI actually only just know realized that a lot of the conflicts came from focusing on hypothetical harm and me worrying about what could hurt someone pontentially, instead of staying grounded in the actual conversations happening in front of me.
I guess I was overly prioritizing potential harm because the past taught me that pain arrives out of nowhere and I'm the one who
has to prevent it.
I guess it was hypervigilant state in action and of course I had no way of seeing the truth, because trauma just blurred everything.
I think this realisation will help me move forward.
I guess I was overly prioritizing potential harm because the past taught me that pain arrives out of nowhere and I'm the one who
has to prevent it.
I guess it was hypervigilant state in action and of course I had no way of seeing the truth, because trauma just blurred everything.
I think this realisation will help me move forward.
#7
Recovery Journals / Re: Ran's journey
Last post by Ran - December 03, 2025, 06:17:58 PMQuote from: Chart on December 03, 2025, 05:53:18 PMFound it:
https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=17020.0
Thank you.
I actually do know about the book. There is a pdf version available online and I'm reading it, though I haven't got very far. I can relate to stuff as well.I heard about the book a long time ago, before I even knew about my cptsd and thought it's intresting, but never got around to reading it. It does seem like a mandatory book for us.
#8
Recovery Journals / Re: Ran's journey
Last post by Chart - December 03, 2025, 05:53:18 PM #9
Research / Re: new research and hope for ...
Last post by Chart - December 03, 2025, 05:48:25 PMVery interesting!
#10
Recovery Journals / Re: Ran's journey
Last post by Chart - December 03, 2025, 05:44:46 PMRan, someone recently wrote about Bessel Van der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score" here on the Forum. You might want to look into the book if you haven't heard of it. I'll try to find the link here on the Forum.
Glad to hear about your disability requirements being fulfilled.
Glad to hear about your disability requirements being fulfilled.