Recent posts
#1
General Discussion / Re: (A lot) Truer than "I" tho...
Last post by Armee - Today at 05:41:51 PM
It gets better with acceptance and accomodation for where you currently are at. It's a starting point not an ending point and it is trauma, not mental illness. From everything I have heard it is very common to start reliving the trauma when your child becomes the same age you were when it happened. It'll get better and I am so glad you have 2x per week support.
#2
Recovery Journals / Re: starting over
Last post by Chart - Today at 05:40:26 PMHey San, You ARE struggling. I want to confirm your struggle. I know to a very great degree what you are going through, though it remains unique to each of us, the pain when it descends is horrible. And you've been hanging in there for years, nose just above water. I want to affirm that I see you, and acknowledge your efforts and difficulties. I am so sorry that each move you make to try to improve your situation is met with a big stick in the turning wheel.
I recently had an experience where my daughter was targeted by a pedophile. Long story, but went to the police, informed the school and changed the two locks on the door to my house cause my daughter had lost her keys at one critical point (perfectly normal for a 12-year-old to lose stuff). But the thing that pushed me over the edge was when I learned that the new keys I'd gotten were actually stolen by another student in my daughter's gym class... I went to the school and had the misfortune to run into a monitor that was aware of the stolen key situation and thought it a good idea to help me out by telling me repeatedly that she "understood perfectly" how I was feeling. I finally snapped and replied, No, I don't think you do in fact. She then got a little haughty and told me that I didn't have to be rude. I held my ground, stayed rational and didn't go into a rage, but I was so at my limit at that point that I couldn't let it go. That night I wrote a letter to the administrators and teachers concerned that I did not in any way accept their window-dressing of understanding. (The situation actually made me aware of the fact that the full extent of the situation had not been communicated to the teachers or staff...)
Anyway, I'm rambling a bit... I guess what I'm trying to say is that "other people" do not in any way shape or form understand your situation... and I am deeply, truly sorry for that.
Seeing you, hoping the hardest part is past and sending love and support, Chart
I recently had an experience where my daughter was targeted by a pedophile. Long story, but went to the police, informed the school and changed the two locks on the door to my house cause my daughter had lost her keys at one critical point (perfectly normal for a 12-year-old to lose stuff). But the thing that pushed me over the edge was when I learned that the new keys I'd gotten were actually stolen by another student in my daughter's gym class... I went to the school and had the misfortune to run into a monitor that was aware of the stolen key situation and thought it a good idea to help me out by telling me repeatedly that she "understood perfectly" how I was feeling. I finally snapped and replied, No, I don't think you do in fact. She then got a little haughty and told me that I didn't have to be rude. I held my ground, stayed rational and didn't go into a rage, but I was so at my limit at that point that I couldn't let it go. That night I wrote a letter to the administrators and teachers concerned that I did not in any way accept their window-dressing of understanding. (The situation actually made me aware of the fact that the full extent of the situation had not been communicated to the teachers or staff...)
Anyway, I'm rambling a bit... I guess what I'm trying to say is that "other people" do not in any way shape or form understand your situation... and I am deeply, truly sorry for that.
Seeing you, hoping the hardest part is past and sending love and support, Chart
#3
General Discussion / Re: progress notes nov 25
Last post by Kizzie - Today at 05:05:27 PMThanks so much James! It will likely be in the New Year as we're taking a break for the holidays.
Kizzie
Kizzie
#4
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Newly joined
Last post by NarcKiddo - Today at 03:26:16 PMWelcome. I am sorry you are a a crisis point in your marriage and I hope you and your wife can find a way to work things out, if that is what both of you would like to happen.
#5
Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Three Good Things Today - ...
Last post by Blueberry - Today at 03:09:13 PM1) I have my wherewithal back again
2) I washed a huge stack of dishes - chiefly saucepans, kitchen knives and other stuff that can't go in the dishwasher
3) I cooked a warm breakfast this morning - sort of like porridge but with chopped up apple in with the oatflakes. Probably the first time in at least 3 years, tho for years before that this was something I cooked regularly. The last couple of sessions in OT/trauma therapy have obviously had an affect.
4) Went for a little cycle from A to B and enjoyed that. Mild temperature, no rain
I also felt purposeful, which is a good feeling
2) I washed a huge stack of dishes - chiefly saucepans, kitchen knives and other stuff that can't go in the dishwasher
3) I cooked a warm breakfast this morning - sort of like porridge but with chopped up apple in with the oatflakes. Probably the first time in at least 3 years, tho for years before that this was something I cooked regularly. The last couple of sessions in OT/trauma therapy have obviously had an affect.
4) Went for a little cycle from A to B and enjoyed that. Mild temperature, no rain
I also felt purposeful, which is a good feeling 
#7
Recovery Journals / Re: starting over
Last post by sanmagic7 - Today at 01:09:48 PMthank you, DF, for your care and validation. yes, exactly 
it makes me wonder how much more i can take. 
it's been a helluva week, and i'm still recovering. visualizing the top of my head having to come off in order to let out the brick of whatever was in there really struck me this morning. this is not a life. my galpal asked me how often i felt ok, i told her about 25% of the time, and she was kinda flabbergasted. i asked my last T if she'd ever heard me say i felt great, she admitted she hadn't, which was 5 yrs. worth of work. i am just hanging on, trying to save my sanity. that's all i can do anymore.
it makes me wonder how much more i can take. it's been a helluva week, and i'm still recovering. visualizing the top of my head having to come off in order to let out the brick of whatever was in there really struck me this morning. this is not a life. my galpal asked me how often i felt ok, i told her about 25% of the time, and she was kinda flabbergasted. i asked my last T if she'd ever heard me say i felt great, she admitted she hadn't, which was 5 yrs. worth of work. i am just hanging on, trying to save my sanity. that's all i can do anymore.
#8
Recovery Journals / Re: Ran's journey
Last post by Ran - Today at 12:42:58 PMI've been chatting with some people and over a long time I felt oh I like to chat with these people. I was feeling warm inside. I don't know why. I don't know them even too well. Just chatting about normal stuff is fun.
#9
General Discussion / Re: (A lot) Truer than "I" tho...
Last post by Desert Flower - Today at 08:14:36 AMThank you all, dear friends, for being here with me. It means a lot to me.
SO, thank you for your comforting words, I'll try to look at it that way.
And I'm sorry for those who can relate so well
SO, thank you for your comforting words, I'll try to look at it that way.
And I'm sorry for those who can relate so well
#10
Other / Re: Our Healing Porch Part 8
Last post by Armee - Today at 05:13:23 AMAn old friend is coming to sit quietly on the porch steps to catch up in comfortable silence.