Recent posts
#1
Recovery Journals / Re: Ran's journey
Last post by Ran - Today at 03:17:40 PMQuote from: Chart on Today at 01:23:55 PMHey Ran, take your time with the Forum. It is many things, but always striving towards healthy interactions and positive relationships, even when things are really really hard. I totally agree with TheBigBlue. Take your time here and everywhere. You are very brave. I'm trying to get away from expecting my life to begin when I finally reach a certain level of healing. I'm trying to realize that I am living my life right now. Sometimes that's depressing because I imagine that since it's always been this way, it's also likely to not change. But I know that's false. But pain is so dominating, but things are changing.
Sending support and hugs if that's ok, Chart.
Thank you Chart. Hugs are always okay with me.
I'll try my best. I'm still very much in the beginning, but I want to get better as it affects my relationships and it's one thing that helps me cope with everything. If I didn't found my own support places, then it would have been much more difficult.
#2
Recovery Journals / Re: Allie's Archives: a recov...
Last post by alliematt - Today at 02:59:03 PMToday it is all about the guilt. My son has just hauled out the Christmas tree.
I've eaten too many carbs already (I'm type 2 diabetic and am having a hard time lately with my blood sugar)
Both husband and i are on the screens too much.
He's doing the dishes, which he does not mind doing. I feel guilty because when he does stuff like doing the dishes, it makes me think that I'm not doing my share.
I'm still in bathrobe and PJs. Lazy.
I need to put away the laundry. It's still down here in the living room.
And I need to plan meals but meal planning when you're already exhausted and overwhelmed is just too hard. EVERYTHING IS TOO HARD.
I've eaten too many carbs already (I'm type 2 diabetic and am having a hard time lately with my blood sugar)
Both husband and i are on the screens too much.
He's doing the dishes, which he does not mind doing. I feel guilty because when he does stuff like doing the dishes, it makes me think that I'm not doing my share.
I'm still in bathrobe and PJs. Lazy.
I need to put away the laundry. It's still down here in the living room.
And I need to plan meals but meal planning when you're already exhausted and overwhelmed is just too hard. EVERYTHING IS TOO HARD.
#3
Eating Issues / Re: Why “Morbid Obesity” Still...
Last post by alliematt - Today at 02:56:17 PMI know the feeling. I have that label and it feels so personal.
#4
Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...
Last post by Desert Flower - Today at 01:59:09 PMAND another big deal today!
I finally told my dear brother whom I love that I think he has autism. Feels like a relief to me, not having to watch my words anymore, I had been trying not to mention it because I didn't want to upset him.
I dont' think I upset him. He said:
1. I was not the first to have told him. Wow. A former (very nice) girlfriend of him had told him too. And
2. He didn't think he had autism. He has a few friends who have the diagnosis and he thinks he's different. (Well, everone has autism in their unique way, don't they?) And
3. He didn't want to explore it any further. Which is fair enough of course.
For one thing, he's never asked me how I am. But I tell him anyway. So I told him about my difficult week.
And then he went on to tell me how he deals with things people ask of him that he doesn't feel like doing, which proved my point exactly. He had been dating a little bit on Tinder and there was this woman he had seen a few times who now invited him to her art exibition opening. And she had mentioned that there might be a few other former dates present there. And my brother thought that might not be so nice so he had told her that he didn't wanna come. And I'm thinking, that's exactly it! The sociable thing to do would be to go to the opening, because it would be nice for her, not for you!
But it's fine of course, I love him the way he is, I'm just glad I got it off my chest.
I finally told my dear brother whom I love that I think he has autism. Feels like a relief to me, not having to watch my words anymore, I had been trying not to mention it because I didn't want to upset him.
I dont' think I upset him. He said:
1. I was not the first to have told him. Wow. A former (very nice) girlfriend of him had told him too. And
2. He didn't think he had autism. He has a few friends who have the diagnosis and he thinks he's different. (Well, everone has autism in their unique way, don't they?) And
3. He didn't want to explore it any further. Which is fair enough of course.
For one thing, he's never asked me how I am. But I tell him anyway. So I told him about my difficult week.
And then he went on to tell me how he deals with things people ask of him that he doesn't feel like doing, which proved my point exactly. He had been dating a little bit on Tinder and there was this woman he had seen a few times who now invited him to her art exibition opening. And she had mentioned that there might be a few other former dates present there. And my brother thought that might not be so nice so he had told her that he didn't wanna come. And I'm thinking, that's exactly it! The sociable thing to do would be to go to the opening, because it would be nice for her, not for you!
But it's fine of course, I love him the way he is, I'm just glad I got it off my chest.
#5
AD - Emotional Dysregulation / What is Joy?
Last post by gcj07a - Today at 01:58:32 PMMy wife likes to ask people what has brought them joy lately. And most people actually have an answer! I don't understand that. I don't know if I have ever felt joy. Or, if I have, I don't remember it. At best there are moments of contentment, when active pain is still for awhile. But the emotional suffering is always waiting for me. Growing up the best I could hope for was to be left alone, but I work and have a family and can't be left alone. Which is why there is always pain. I have recently spiraled back into major depression (it comes and goes depending on how well managed my CPTSD is) just in time for the holidays.
#6
Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...
Last post by Desert Flower - Today at 01:48:05 PMHey Chart, "yeah, that" and thank you too. No need to apologise at all, I totally get it.
I do see the good work as well.
Take care you too.
I do see the good work as well.
Take care you too.
#7
Recovery Journals / Re: Ran's journey
Last post by Chart - Today at 01:23:55 PMHey Ran, take your time with the Forum. It is many things, but always striving towards healthy interactions and positive relationships, even when things are really really hard. I totally agree with TheBigBlue. Take your time here and everywhere. You are very brave. I'm trying to get away from expecting my life to begin when I finally reach a certain level of healing. I'm trying to realize that I am living my life right now. Sometimes that's depressing because I imagine that since it's always been this way, it's also likely to not change. But I know that's false. But pain is so dominating, but things are changing.
Sending support and hugs if that's ok, Chart.
Sending support and hugs if that's ok, Chart.
#8
Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...
Last post by Chart - Today at 12:32:39 PMHey DF, you describe so very well the Cptsd experience. I can relate, it's like just when you manage to "survice" one stressful experience, WHAM! another comes right along right behind it. Hardly a beat to catch our breath.
Very cool you are anticipating circumstances that are difficult and stressful and letting others know what and how you are going to deal with the situation. I was recently 45 minutes late for a social services appointment (which as their fault because the "politicians" in France are always changing the names of the public services; The Employment Center is now called France Services...) When I finally arrived I was so extremely stressed that I was completely unable to keep my feelings and emotions internalized. I didn't go too far, but I definitely let them know that things were WAY beyond my capacity to deal with and that I was at my absolute maximum and that THEY were actually making things worse and not helping me in the slightest. I've also started getting up on the "high horse" especially with folks who SHOULD KNOW about Cptsd... Anyway, I'm ranting, sorry :-)
I sense good work getting done in what you relate in your journal. I hope you see and feel it too.
Sending support.
Very cool you are anticipating circumstances that are difficult and stressful and letting others know what and how you are going to deal with the situation. I was recently 45 minutes late for a social services appointment (which as their fault because the "politicians" in France are always changing the names of the public services; The Employment Center is now called France Services...) When I finally arrived I was so extremely stressed that I was completely unable to keep my feelings and emotions internalized. I didn't go too far, but I definitely let them know that things were WAY beyond my capacity to deal with and that I was at my absolute maximum and that THEY were actually making things worse and not helping me in the slightest. I've also started getting up on the "high horse" especially with folks who SHOULD KNOW about Cptsd... Anyway, I'm ranting, sorry :-)
I sense good work getting done in what you relate in your journal. I hope you see and feel it too.
Sending support.
#9
Eating Issues / Re: Why “Morbid Obesity” Still...
Last post by Dalloway - Today at 11:10:02 AM
your post TheBigBlue #10
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Outside my own head
Last post by Ran - Today at 10:53:03 AMWelcome to the forum. 
I'm so sorry about the loss of your cat. Pets are family and loss of something that offered you a lifeline is shattering. 
I'm so sorry about the loss of your cat. Pets are family and loss of something that offered you a lifeline is shattering.