Recent posts
#1
Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...
Last post by Chart - Today at 09:42:11 PMQuote from: Desert Flower on Today at 09:18:11 PMTaking care of myself starts here.
It's NEVER too late!
(I'm still dressed but am in bed... and no plans on going anywhere :-)
#2
Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...
Last post by Desert Flower - Today at 09:18:11 PMI'm really really tired right now. Spent the whole day at an amusement park with h and kids, which was a lot of fun but waaaayyy too much input for my system I'm afraid. I did do some good interventions with my 'floating through space'- music on my headphones, taking a little rest in between attractions.
And tonight is New Year's Eve of course. Not my favourite evening to put it mildly. I always HAD TO enjoy this evening, it HAD TO BE great, it was an absolute MUST. So I used to be out partying hard and I used to drink etc. waaayyy too much and then have some nervous breakdown that I did not understand, or something. Not proud of it but I do understand better now. This evening is so loaded with social expectations, it's just too much to live up to. Especially with CPTSD.
So I've been downscaling the whole thing these past years. I'm not going out, not drinking, not dressing up, sitting here in my pyjamas. We had dinner at an all-you-can-eat Chinese/Japanese buffet restaurant, the opposite of fancy and everybody liked it very much.
And I won't be leaving the house because I am afraid of the fireworks (explosions more like). They scare and startle me so. I hate them thoroughly. And it is only this year that I decided that the proper thing for me to do then, is to stay indoors. What a realisation! HA. Even though everybody expects you to step outside and be nice to the neighbours and congratulate each other on the new year in the street, I'm not going to. Taking care of myself starts here.
And tonight is New Year's Eve of course. Not my favourite evening to put it mildly. I always HAD TO enjoy this evening, it HAD TO BE great, it was an absolute MUST. So I used to be out partying hard and I used to drink etc. waaayyy too much and then have some nervous breakdown that I did not understand, or something. Not proud of it but I do understand better now. This evening is so loaded with social expectations, it's just too much to live up to. Especially with CPTSD.
So I've been downscaling the whole thing these past years. I'm not going out, not drinking, not dressing up, sitting here in my pyjamas. We had dinner at an all-you-can-eat Chinese/Japanese buffet restaurant, the opposite of fancy and everybody liked it very much.
And I won't be leaving the house because I am afraid of the fireworks (explosions more like). They scare and startle me so. I hate them thoroughly. And it is only this year that I decided that the proper thing for me to do then, is to stay indoors. What a realisation! HA. Even though everybody expects you to step outside and be nice to the neighbours and congratulate each other on the new year in the street, I'm not going to. Taking care of myself starts here.
#3
Recovery Journals / Re: The tipping point…
Last post by Chart - Today at 09:02:26 PMThank you DF. You too, Happy New Year 2026.
I look forward to continuing the healing work we've all begun. This road is so much less steep with you and all the other beautiful people here.
I look forward to continuing the healing work we've all begun. This road is so much less steep with you and all the other beautiful people here.
#4
Recovery Journals / Re: The tipping point…
Last post by Desert Flower - Today at 08:57:18 PMThere's so much in your post nr. 21 that I relate to. Finding out about CPTSD a couple of years ago (one and a half for me). Looking back at how we've been trying to cope all these years before. Working so hard at healing...
I'm tired myself at the moment so I just want to wish you all the best for 2026, everything you need to heal and get your energy up. And especially lots of love to your inner children, it has been very good hearing from them and sad too. They are safe here too.
I'm tired myself at the moment so I just want to wish you all the best for 2026, everything you need to heal and get your energy up. And especially lots of love to your inner children, it has been very good hearing from them and sad too. They are safe here too.
#5
Recovery Journals / Re: I Am
Last post by TheBigBlue - Today at 08:40:54 PMCount me in for the ice cream party! 🍦 
Happy New Year to y'all !
Happy New Year to y'all !
#6
Therapy / Re: Heart Opening Music
Last post by TheBigBlue - Today at 08:30:50 PMI love this song by Lewis Capaldi; not just the music itself, but what it represents for me. In the video he isn't left to crash and burn during a Tourette's episode; instead, the community around him carries him and the song forward.
That's the image that moves me - not just surviving, but being held as you struggle. That's what finding community here at OOTS has felt like for me too: a place where we don't have to face the hard parts alone, where we're carried a bit when we can't carry ourselves. 💛
https://youtu.be/ZdEbPkD2KYc?si=XMpD2tfMocdnMrH8
That's the image that moves me - not just surviving, but being held as you struggle. That's what finding community here at OOTS has felt like for me too: a place where we don't have to face the hard parts alone, where we're carried a bit when we can't carry ourselves. 💛
https://youtu.be/ZdEbPkD2KYc?si=XMpD2tfMocdnMrH8
#7
General Discussion / Re: What does "spiralling" mea...
Last post by lowbudgetTV - Today at 08:07:35 PMI would agree with you: I consider it something like a panic attack / uncontrollable situation.
It's like the phrase "spiraling out of control". I think of it like: something happened to this person, and they're coping with it poorly, doing unhelpful things. It can be regressing back to old, bad habits, or thinking too much about unhelpful things or people. It could also be like submitting to an addiction like buying too much stuff or eating unwell or hanging out with bad people.
In short, I think of it like a catch-all term for "not doing well; lots of bad things occurring; can't help it (easily)."
It's like the phrase "spiraling out of control". I think of it like: something happened to this person, and they're coping with it poorly, doing unhelpful things. It can be regressing back to old, bad habits, or thinking too much about unhelpful things or people. It could also be like submitting to an addiction like buying too much stuff or eating unwell or hanging out with bad people.
In short, I think of it like a catch-all term for "not doing well; lots of bad things occurring; can't help it (easily)."
#8
Recovery Journals / Re: I Am
Last post by Chart - Today at 06:08:12 PMHappy New Year to you too, Bach!
#9
Recovery Journals / Re: The tipping point…
Last post by Chart - Today at 06:06:51 PMSo tonight is just serious hang-out on the Forum. I'm really good at being lazy. I might go take a walk later. An evening stroll through Bourges. When I first came to Europe in 1991 I was (maybe like many Americans) just enthralled with the old houses. The centers of most European cities often have buildings that date back to the 1500s, sometimes earlier. The Cathedral in Bourges was started around 1195. So, even after being here now for over twenty years, I still LOVE the center of old towns. And aside from Paris, I never lived in town, I've always lived in really small towns or the countryside. So Bourges is now just outside my door. I don't think I'll ever get over the wonder of it. There's a three-quarter moon tonight. It's cold, but the bells are ringing, and I'm safe when I'm alone.
#10
Recovery Journals / Re: I Am
Last post by Bach - Today at 06:00:54 PMNKI, it's probably good for me to think about it. But yeah, today is a better day for an ice cream party! I'll think about it again next year 
Happy New Year to all!
I'll think about it again next year Quote from: Chart on Today at 02:07:36 PMQuote from: NarcKiddo on Today at 12:54:21 PMIt really does look like that, I've seen the photos :-)
Happy New Year to all!