Recent posts
#1
Inner Child Work / Re: This is new
Last post by Ran - Today at 07:57:15 PMQuote from: Blueberry on Today at 06:53:49 PMQuote from: Kizzie on Today at 05:00:18 PMGood grief Ran, a 2 year wait for therapy,
It's not unusual to have a two-year wait here for therapy, especially trauma therapy. You know where I am Kizzie.
Ran, I'm in a continental European country too.Quote from: Ran on Today at 01:57:38 PMLately there us a guy in my life. He knows about my inner child and cptsd. He is very kind and supportive. He kinda became the father figure. Not in a freaky way or anything like that. Mostly he's been trying to get my inner child out more. Make me play and have fun and smile. We even wondered if we have been good parents. It's kinda sweet.
That's lovely, Ran.
I've done a lot of inner child work too and I'm trying to think how I progressed in it. I know that reading "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron and doing some of the exercises was helpful. Also doing things like finger-painting and eventually foot-painting, neither of them being things I ever would have been allowed to as a child. There were a couple of years in which I spent a lot of time swinging at the park. Apparently, it's something that children almost need or at least it's very beneficial for them for regrouping etc so it was interesting to me how much I seemed to need it then.
It was also helpful for me to read books about child and adolescent development, basically parenting books, but with more modern ideas than my parents ever had. Also, acquiring a few new stuffies who are my therapy/healing stuffies, not childhood stuffies. If you build up a relationship with healing stuffies, sometimes just looking at them can help you find a solution, I have found, or just have a few impulses on what to do next, eg. play!
I don't remember doing much finger painting either. We did I guess try it in kindergarten. I'm not sure I liked it too much due to being quite sensitive to different sensory stuff. I didn't enjoy too much touching paint with my fingers and tracing it on paper. I did like art though and I am quite creative person. I remember when I was little and hospital due to my weak immune system I was forbidden to draw with markers, because I ruined the white sheets haha.
I do like drawing with markers, so I think I should try that more. I need to read that book. The artists way. I have heard of it, but never read it.
This gives me a good idea to grab some child developement books from library tomorrow.
#2
Inner Child Work / Re: This is new
Last post by Ran - Today at 07:46:41 PMQuote from: Kizzie on Today at 05:00:18 PMGood grief Ran, a 2 year wait for therapy, that's completely unacceptable! I don't know about where you live but here in Canada many therapists treat according to a sliding scale, what you can reasonably pay. It might be something to check.
Good to hear you have a friend who is trying to help you bring out your inner child. That's what I worked on first and it made such a difference that young me had some fun and began to trust adult me to look out for her.
Hope you're able to get some therapy earlier than 2 years and in the meantime, let your inner child have some fun. It's a balm to the soul or so I found.
I live in Estonia. It's pretty much standard here. Like to get to see any specialized doctor you must be ready to wait. I mean I lucked out with eye doctor appointment and got it to February, but it can be months and months, if not years just waiting for your turn.
And I'd go private, but those are too expensive for me. It depends, but it can be 100€+ per session and I'd need a lot of sessions. I just don't have that kind of money.
At least with waiting I have a chance to even get therapy.
I had no idea at first that this is what he was trying to do. Get my inner child out. It was unexpected when he told me. He was kinda pushing a lot of my buttons and my cptsd emotional storms got intense.
#3
Recovery Journals / Re: The tipping point…
Last post by HannahOne - Today at 07:24:57 PM"Prediction error is nothing more than a name for something that helps to more accurately understand what "it" actually is. I had the same experience when I discovered the acronym CPTSD. For me, "Prediction Error is the element that allows me to define my EF in such a way that I have a little bit more elbow room to see and appreciate my inner children, the ones who suffered this process and the ones who are fated to repeat this suffering due to the neuronal necessity to "learn it or die"."
I only read a few posts so far Chart. I get not responding to all the comments on your journal, no expectation for you to reply. Just wanted to say good to see you working through your experience!
I so admire the PMR and exercises you do each day. This is something I have to start doing as my health is breaking down in various ways and I need to take the needs of my nervous system more seriously and put myself first. I am inspired!
Your thoughts on prediction error are so interesting. I work with abused animals and they make prediction errors too. They don't have language-making brains like we do so they don't have a story to drop, or shift, they're more in the moment. So in some ways it's simpler for them. I just have to keep triggering them to be in the present, prompting their attention to the here and now where despite their prediction, nothing bad is happening, and getting them to notice that. They more easily "retain" that new nervous system stance, maybe because their brain doesn't start making stories and meaning out of it.
I only read a few posts so far Chart. I get not responding to all the comments on your journal, no expectation for you to reply. Just wanted to say good to see you working through your experience!
I so admire the PMR and exercises you do each day. This is something I have to start doing as my health is breaking down in various ways and I need to take the needs of my nervous system more seriously and put myself first. I am inspired!
Your thoughts on prediction error are so interesting. I work with abused animals and they make prediction errors too. They don't have language-making brains like we do so they don't have a story to drop, or shift, they're more in the moment. So in some ways it's simpler for them. I just have to keep triggering them to be in the present, prompting their attention to the here and now where despite their prediction, nothing bad is happening, and getting them to notice that. They more easily "retain" that new nervous system stance, maybe because their brain doesn't start making stories and meaning out of it.
#4
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Looking for hope...
Last post by Desert Flower - Today at 06:59:05 PMHello Ray, I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad as a result of the way you were treated. I can relate to your feelings of hopelessness too. I also ask myself the question sometimes whether 'healed' from CPTDS is actually possible (imo 'healing' definitely is). We just want the triggering and the pain to be over so bad. I understand.
I was also reliving part of my trauma some two years ago and that threw me back into it all over again. It hurt so bad to be hit in the same spot again. And I think it's actually very common to be coping/ 'highly functioning' for many years, until at some point in our forties/fifties, we can no longer keep it up.
I recently read Janina Fischer, "a trauma therapist with over 40 years of helping survivors" ("Healing the Living Legay of Trauma") and she says (on page 97) that: "A life after trauma is not a life in which we will never ever be triggered again. It is a life in which being triggered is a nuisance, not a catastrophe or an experience of shame." So that will be it then. And that would actually be good enough, I think.
I'm wishing you all the best in your healing journey. I hope hanging out here will be as helpful for you as it has been for me. It has changed so much for me to know people here really understand. I hope it will for you as well.
I was also reliving part of my trauma some two years ago and that threw me back into it all over again. It hurt so bad to be hit in the same spot again. And I think it's actually very common to be coping/ 'highly functioning' for many years, until at some point in our forties/fifties, we can no longer keep it up.
I recently read Janina Fischer, "a trauma therapist with over 40 years of helping survivors" ("Healing the Living Legay of Trauma") and she says (on page 97) that: "A life after trauma is not a life in which we will never ever be triggered again. It is a life in which being triggered is a nuisance, not a catastrophe or an experience of shame." So that will be it then. And that would actually be good enough, I think.
I'm wishing you all the best in your healing journey. I hope hanging out here will be as helpful for you as it has been for me. It has changed so much for me to know people here really understand. I hope it will for you as well.
#5
Inner Child Work / Re: This is new
Last post by Blueberry - Today at 06:53:49 PMQuote from: Kizzie on Today at 05:00:18 PMGood grief Ran, a 2 year wait for therapy,
It's not unusual to have a two-year wait here for therapy, especially trauma therapy. You know where I am Kizzie.
Ran, I'm in a continental European country too.
Quote from: Ran on Today at 01:57:38 PMLately there us a guy in my life. He knows about my inner child and cptsd. He is very kind and supportive. He kinda became the father figure. Not in a freaky way or anything like that. Mostly he's been trying to get my inner child out more. Make me play and have fun and smile. We even wondered if we have been good parents. It's kinda sweet.
That's lovely, Ran.
I've done a lot of inner child work too and I'm trying to think how I progressed in it. I know that reading "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron and doing some of the exercises was helpful. Also doing things like finger-painting and eventually foot-painting, neither of them being things I ever would have been allowed to as a child. There were a couple of years in which I spent a lot of time swinging at the park. Apparently, it's something that children almost need or at least it's very beneficial for them for regrouping etc so it was interesting to me how much I seemed to need it then.
It was also helpful for me to read books about child and adolescent development, basically parenting books, but with more modern ideas than my parents ever had. Also, acquiring a few new stuffies who are my therapy/healing stuffies, not childhood stuffies. If you build up a relationship with healing stuffies, sometimes just looking at them can help you find a solution, I have found, or just have a few impulses on what to do next, eg. play!
#6
Recovery Journals / Re: Post-Traumatic Growth Jour...
Last post by Desert Flower - Today at 06:14:43 PMHappy New Year dear SO! Sending you all the warmth, love and cares that you need. And thank you for being such a big support for me and all of us here, it's much appreciated. Your honesty and bravery and insights and compassion are so real and helpful. Take lots of care. Big hugs.
#7
Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Three Good Things Today - ...
Last post by Blueberry - Today at 06:12:50 PMFrom yesterday and today:
1) Yesterday I washed a whole bunch of dishes by hand, especially sauce pans and crockery that somehow wasn't cleaned properly in the dishwasher
2) I did other cleaning and tidying in the kitchen and it looks so much tidier and more inviting
3) I watched
thru my window around midnight. I wouldn't set them off myself for a bunch of reasons but they are pretty to look at
4) Today I cooked myself a hot breakfast with souring milk, rice and fruit.
So nice to have a filling hot breakfast when it's cold outside and even a little chilly in apt
5) I continued tidying and cleaning. My living room is much better. Most of the dust bunnies are now in the vac. cleaner - just need to do one more corner.
6) It was a lovely sunny day. I didn't go outside but had the window open on and off to shake dusters etc out the window
1) Yesterday I washed a whole bunch of dishes by hand, especially sauce pans and crockery that somehow wasn't cleaned properly in the dishwasher
2) I did other cleaning and tidying in the kitchen and it looks so much tidier and more inviting
3) I watched
thru my window around midnight. I wouldn't set them off myself for a bunch of reasons but they are pretty to look at4) Today I cooked myself a hot breakfast with souring milk, rice and fruit.
So nice to have a filling hot breakfast when it's cold outside and even a little chilly in apt5) I continued tidying and cleaning. My living room is much better. Most of the dust bunnies are now in the vac. cleaner - just need to do one more corner.
6) It was a lovely sunny day. I didn't go outside but had the window open on and off to shake dusters etc out the window
#8
General Discussion / Re: What does "spiralling" mea...
Last post by Kizzie - Today at 05:08:52 PMI think NK and LBTV have captured what it is Saluki. I have found that I spiral less and less as I am able most times to interrupt a downward slide or spiral. Over Christmas I was triggered by something and could feel myself begin to spiral (everything adding up to a worsening EF), but I knew what to do and sure enough I was fine once I took action to stop the spiral. For me that involved talking with my H, going out with friends and my son who was here for Christmas. In the past I might have cancelled going out and stayed in my bedroom until it passed. So, for me connection with others is one very powerful tool. It can be other things depending on the survivor though.
#9
Inner Child Work / Re: This is new
Last post by Kizzie - Today at 05:00:18 PMGood grief Ran, a 2 year wait for therapy, that's completely unacceptable! I don't know about where you live but here in Canada many therapists treat according to a sliding scale, what you can reasonably pay. It might be something to check.
Good to hear you have a friend who is trying to help you bring out your inner child. That's what I worked on first and it made such a difference that young me had some fun and began to trust adult me to look out for her.
Hope you're able to get some therapy earlier than 2 years and in the meantime, let your inner child have some fun. It's a balm to the soul or so I found.
Good to hear you have a friend who is trying to help you bring out your inner child. That's what I worked on first and it made such a difference that young me had some fun and began to trust adult me to look out for her.
Hope you're able to get some therapy earlier than 2 years and in the meantime, let your inner child have some fun. It's a balm to the soul or so I found.
#10
Recovery Journals / Re: Post-Traumatic Growth Jour...
Last post by SenseOrgan - Today at 04:14:49 PMHAPPY NEW YEAR everybody!