Okay so I've been dating (lets call her Emma) for almost a year now and we've had a lot of problems relating to traumatic events she experienced in her early teens. I'll describe the trauma way below for those of you triggered by mentions of S abuse) It's been almost ten years since the traumatic events of her childhood but her PTSD affects our relationship in unexpected ways. More recently I've noticed a concerning trend and I can't find any resources on whether this issue is related to her PTSD, anxiety, depression or something else. I'm hoping someone on these forums identifies with this complex issue and helps explain what might be happening and how I can help my girlfriend get through it.
So recently when we've been spending time together in private, we'll be kissing or flirting and out of nowhere, Emma will be distracted by something. The first time it happened she burst out with "Oh by the way my Aunts funeral is on Friday" which was obviously a really inappropriate thing to say and we had to stop what we were doing and talk about how uncomfortable she had made the situation. But I tried to be understanding, you can't help what pops into your head and Emma explained: "It was all I could think about and I felt like I had to tell you there and then or I would forget about it". Still, it was a shock and it's hard not to feel offended and embarrassed. A few weeks later I noticed it again when things were headed towards an intimate or sexual nature she brought up her Aunt who had recently passed. Every time it happens we both feel a bit
It happened again last night, this time she broke down crying expressing she hadn't been able to look herself in the mirror all day and was feeling very self-conscious all week. Again, I try to calm her down but also can't help feeling embarrassed and lost as to why these intrusive thoughts need to take us out of an intimate moment.
In the beginning, Emma would have the odd flashback and be taken out of the moment, it was always easier to deal with as I could tell she felt uncomfortable or scared and reacted accordingly. It's harder to deal with these spells of inappropriate comments as they seem random.
Is this related to PTSD? Is this some way of her brain feeling overwhelmed and "slamming on the brakes" In an attempt to save her from being hurt again? Has anyone else experienced overwhelming thoughts that fill their attention and take them out of the present moment?
I don't want this happening again, I don't want her to associate being with me in a negative light.
Any reply would be greatly appreciated as I can't find anything about this online. It's hard because it's not a direct flashback to traumatic events or even the same feelings, it's like one minute Emma's involved and the next she's thinking of something completely different.
(DETAILS OF THE TRAUMA FOR CONTEXT WARNING MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ABUSE)
When Emma was 10 to 14 her and her sister experienced repeated harm from their older male family member. Now in her twenties, Emma is seeking help from trauma therapy and will be taking Emdr sessions in the new year.
So recently when we've been spending time together in private, we'll be kissing or flirting and out of nowhere, Emma will be distracted by something. The first time it happened she burst out with "Oh by the way my Aunts funeral is on Friday" which was obviously a really inappropriate thing to say and we had to stop what we were doing and talk about how uncomfortable she had made the situation. But I tried to be understanding, you can't help what pops into your head and Emma explained: "It was all I could think about and I felt like I had to tell you there and then or I would forget about it". Still, it was a shock and it's hard not to feel offended and embarrassed. A few weeks later I noticed it again when things were headed towards an intimate or sexual nature she brought up her Aunt who had recently passed. Every time it happens we both feel a bit
It happened again last night, this time she broke down crying expressing she hadn't been able to look herself in the mirror all day and was feeling very self-conscious all week. Again, I try to calm her down but also can't help feeling embarrassed and lost as to why these intrusive thoughts need to take us out of an intimate moment. In the beginning, Emma would have the odd flashback and be taken out of the moment, it was always easier to deal with as I could tell she felt uncomfortable or scared and reacted accordingly. It's harder to deal with these spells of inappropriate comments as they seem random.
Is this related to PTSD? Is this some way of her brain feeling overwhelmed and "slamming on the brakes" In an attempt to save her from being hurt again? Has anyone else experienced overwhelming thoughts that fill their attention and take them out of the present moment?
I don't want this happening again, I don't want her to associate being with me in a negative light.
Any reply would be greatly appreciated as I can't find anything about this online. It's hard because it's not a direct flashback to traumatic events or even the same feelings, it's like one minute Emma's involved and the next she's thinking of something completely different.
(DETAILS OF THE TRAUMA FOR CONTEXT WARNING MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ABUSE)
When Emma was 10 to 14 her and her sister experienced repeated harm from their older male family member. Now in her twenties, Emma is seeking help from trauma therapy and will be taking Emdr sessions in the new year.