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Hi Cyd,

I'm  sorry you're going through this. I can really relate .. I'm going through a  similar stage to you. I also self harmed for the first time in 10 years and recently found out i have complex ptsd. And I'm withdrawing from friends and hiding my self harm from my husband.

I'm trying not to listen to the inner critic and not judge myself for harming myself. Instead I try to remind myself that self harm is a survival and coping mechanism.

Do you have a therapist you can talk to and get some other ideas for coping strategies?

Hi,

That's not a nice experience but also pretty typical of what goes on in our brains when we're stressed or triggered.

When we're stressed our brains go into the fight, flight, freeze response.. which means that it's the brainstem and sometimes emotional mid brain that take over. Language and speaking skills are produced in the top/front part of the brain, which is exactly the part of the brain that we don't have access to when we're stressed.

I agree when this happens it's probably a good idea to take a break and do something self soothing, whether it's sensory (listen to music, aromatherapy, have a bath), physical (go for a walk), emotional (connect with a friend) or cognitive (reframing, grounding). 

I hope this insight helps.