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Thank you for your input, I found it really helpful.  I am unsure if I would even be part of the equation to help since my sister (an abusive narc. holds the cards in terms of decision making right now)  I recently sent her an email, voice mail, 20 some odd text and IM messages, none of which she acknowledged.  Not one.  If one of them passes away, and she knew, I am sure she wouldn't even tell me.  I would never know. 

OHHH I know the name of this tune.  Only talk to who I want you to talk to.  Then if you do not listen and talk to them anyway.... you are disowned.  This has happened so many times to me.  I have been written out of wills and had my name taken off property because I did not listen and reached out to family members who were off limits.      I still have panic flashbacks about what will happen to me because it was so damaging to me.  Stay strong.  Talk to whoever brings you peace in this life. 

Welcome to the wishing/fantasy portion of the program.  I recently read that this is a thing we Cptsd sufferers do.  I used to fantasize about the parents and family I wished I had.  Later in my life I transferred this fantasy onto romantic partners or close friends who had broke up with me or let me down.  I fantasize that they will see me on some social media or out in public one day and man will they be sorry for alienating me once they see what a wonderful person I am.  LOL  I would spend all my time getting ready for this encounter.  Even trying to run into them by being in places I know they frequent. I still do it on some level.  Its a shame we are resorted to this but I think our brain has been conditioned as a survival mechanism to do this.  I am also looking for a way to let go of the expectations for relationships.  I think being self-aware that I am doing this... like oh here I go again is helpful  I am learning to put effort and energy into the positive relationships that I do have, but its a constant struggle to not look back ans wish is was different.  I'm so sorry, and I totally understand.  Thanks for being so brave to share this!

     Hi there.  I have Cptsd and my FOO (Mother, Father, Sister) are abusive Narc with their own personality disorders.  I knew early on in my life that my household didn't seem quite normal.  We lived in a neighborhood and it was the 80's so I went outside in the morning and came home for dinner, thank God.  I was able to see what other households and family relationships looked like.  My house/yard was off limits since I was not allowed to have people over, or even swim in our pool.  As soon as I heard of this thing called "therapy" I advocated for it through my school.  As soon as I entered therapy at age 14 I was in such turmoil that they put me on Prozac right away.  My whole life I have tried to understand why they are so angry and why they hate me so much, of course it must be my fault or something I did.  I have had to push this pain of being rejected by them down and medicate it at times because it is too overwhelming.  How do you explain to people that you have grown up in a * storm of mental illness and although you made it out alive and appear to have it together, just below the surface there is an underlying low level of anxiety and sadness that when triggered becomes a debilitating regression episode. 
     The contact with them over the past 20 years has pretty much been limited contact.  The parents live in Florida and my sister lives about an hour from me.  I have reached out to them over the years because I wanted my kids to know their "grandparents" and "aunt" (I put that in quotes because they have only seem them 4 times since they were born and always on their terms). 
     My parents are now passively aggressively abusive through ignoring me and telling me I was written out of the will, things like that.  My sister is verbally abusive and manipulative and spreads lies about me to them so they keep hating me. 
     I do not wish to have any contact with my father or sister since they are both sadistic monsters.  My mother has been communicating with me lately and is upset with my father and sister also, although its hard to trust her also because she has written me off and caused so much trauma as well. 
     My issue is this:  they are aging and have health concerns. At some point my mother might ask me for help since we are communicating now.  I am not sure what I would, should do?  Do I help people who have written me off, supposedly written me out of property and wills,  not showed up to my wedding or kids baptisms, ruined my life on so many levels? 
     I went down to where they live in FL a few years ago to have a vacation with my kids (we did not stay with them but nearby and visited once or twice).  The visit was fine, on the surface with my parents... my sister however when she found out flipped her * that I was down there.  My mother said that she told them that "they fell for it hook line and sinker" letting me down there and that "I played them like a fiddle".  I confronted her about that via phone , email, text, etc and she refused to respond.  I deleted her off my social media accounts
again.  She only uses my social media accounts to spy on what I am doing and use at against me later by telling them what I am doing and how much money I have so they better give her all their money.  (By the way I am a teacher and my husband and I earn a decent living and have a small house.  She doesn't have any money because she gets fired or tries to sue everyone at her places of employment and lives off of my parents who send her cars and money, pay for her phone and insurance, even dog grooming.)
    So what sort of contact to I need to maintain with aging parents?  At some point they are going to need help and she is obviously unable to take care of herself never mind help anyone else.  But, also, not to sound selfish but what if I do help and then they pass away and I find they have put their two houses in her name and whatever assets?  I don't want their money but I have two kids to put through college.  And I don't even know for sure if I was left out of the will or if it was an empty threat/punishment?
     It sucks that I would have to even wonder about all of this.  But of course my inner self on some level thinks this is my fault and that I have to fix it, somehow. 
Any thoughts?  Yikes that was quite the rant.  Thanks for listening and giving me a safe place to put this out there. 

Thank you for your kind words.. so not used to kind words... or validation at all.  I'm looking forward to finally healing these wounds.

Hi there,
This is my first post.  I recently discovered that I have had Cptsd after what I now know to be a severe regression episode.  My hope is that by joining I can make some connections with people that understand what it is like to live with cptsd, because life just seems a little bit harder for me and no one seems to get that.  I am usually in a constant state of worry that I will upset someone, say the wrong thing, offend someone, mess up, you know the drill.  I developed this in my childhood and the abuse continues to this day.  My abuse came in the form of an emotionally and verbally abusive, sexually inappropriate,  neglectful alcoholic, narc father, a depressed, but also violent and manipulative probably BPD mother, and a severely mentally ill sister who did sinister things such as stab me, try to drown me, made my life a living * basically and to this day still tries to manipulate me.  I emerged from a den of monsters.  I carry the pain around still and it creeps into my life in the most unexpected ways.  My close friends just don't understand why I am so sensitive and just can't seem to get over certain things.  They know my family is "effed" up but they didn't live it, so they can't comprehend.  They can't comprehend why every year when we (my husband and kids) get our Christmas tree it sends me into a panic.  Or when a friend who "ghosted" me shows up for a visit (not to see me) and I am a crying mess for an entire weekend.  They emotional abandonment lives close to the surface.  Its exhausting.  I do have hope though that now I have found a name for this I can begin to do the healing word.  Thanks for listening and for allowing me to share.