Messages

Thank you, Kizzie. This week was a little better in terms of the anxiety. I've been reading Pete Walker's book, and it's no exaggeration that it has changed my life forever. I'm actually trying some of the coping skills the book talks about with some success. I still haven't started writing again. Too much fear of going back to that bad place I was in last week, but I know I have to face it at some point.

Thank you, I take Effexor and trazodone, which both are supposed to help with anxiety, but right now it's just too strong and they are not helping. They usually work great though.

The worst part is, I feel it coming and get even more panicky about having the panic attack itself, if you know what I mean.

Emotion overload: I am shocked by how similar our stories are. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.

Thank you all so much. Your responses really do help. I was in the middle of a panic attack when I posted that, and even this morning I feel another one creeping up on me. I wish I knew how to stop them before they get me full force. It makes me paralyzed, and even the simplest thing is so hard to do.

I didn't think my ex's death affected me at all until this kind of stuff started happening. I felt a sense of relief when he died, but also a sense of guilt for all the things I did when I was with him. Now, trying to write this journal has brought it all back. I had to stop writing, and I don't know if I'll start again. Maybe I would feel better when it was done, but getting there is nearly killing me.

The most frustrating thing is people who don't believe in mental illness and think I am choosing to be this way and should just snap out of it. It's hard to find support.

Anyway, thank you all again. It is nice to have a place to reach out and talk about it.

Glenna

Hello. I was referred here from "Out of the Fog" to maybe find some support. As I write this, I am in the midst of a severe panic attack, so I am grateful for the ability to post at all. Basically, I'm 46 years old and have come to realize that I suffer from CPTSD, although I haven't had a formal diagnosis.

I experienced severe neglect as a child and severe domestic abuse as an adult. I am a writer as well, but when I started to write things about the abuse, my anxiety ramped way up to 100%, and I am considering quitting writing altogether. This makes me sad, as it is my passion. I do not have much of a support system at home, but I was hoping I could find some support here with others who suffer. I will admit that I need some hands to hold on to right now.

I should mention that my ex-husband (abuser) died in a train accident last month. I didn't have direct grief because I hated him, but the situation brought up a bunch of negative feelings that I don't necessarily want to deal with. I am getting therapy, and I am on psychiatric medication, but nothing seems to be controlling this overwhelming anxiety that I'm feeling. It is stopping me from getting things done during the day and causing conflict in my relationships. I know I need help right now, but not sure how to approach it. Thank you for reading.