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Very helpful - very similar to what I've been going through.  I like the Pete Walker site a lot - this is something that has helped me.  http://www.pete-walker.com/pdf/emotionalFlashbackManagement.pdf

I think OOTF really reinforced my boundaries.  What I've learned on OOTF was that my boundaries are for me - to keep me sane.  My FOO seems to be respecting them for the most part. Not sure how long that will last... .

I like your thoughts on scapegoat vs golden child.  My sibling is certainly the golden child.  I don't really see any signs of a PD  there, but sibling is most certainly in denial about our parents.   

@Butterfly and Nettiemarie.

at this website there is a section of mindfulness that helped me with ruminating. http://www.bipolarsjuk.se/pdf/Handbook%20in%20DBT%20Group.pdf

It is on pages 14-19 The worksheet on page 17 is helpful to draw out your feelings so you can look at them clearly. when I went through treatment it really helped. in fact I don't ruminate much now.

Thank you for that - very helpful.

Hi... oldest child of an uBPD mom and a dad with Major Depression.  I've been the scapegoat in my family for as long as I can remember. I've just recently gone extremly low/no contact (this summer.) I found the Pete Walker site and this site through the Out of The Fog forum.

I've used GABA and it helped some. 

Anyone have any behavioral stuff for the rumination?   I get that a lot and have a really hard time redirecting my thoughts.