Messages

That resonates. 

 

Saying "no" gets easier with time. Especially as you start to realise the sky will not fall in when you say it, even if the other party does kick off. In my experience the other person starts to get a bit more careful with their demands once they know you are capable of saying "no" and meaning it, but there can be a period of adjustment first where you need to stand firm. You may even choose to soften a "no" in future, but then the decision will be yours, and not a conditioned behaviour. The first few straight-out "no"s are really tough and you were brave. Well done.

Depression and the holiday season seem to go hand in hand for a lot of us here. I am sorry you are struggling with depression right now and hope you find your way out of it soon.

I think the word joy can be a bit misleading and difficult, especially when it is seen as something to aspire to. I have nothing against joy but it feels like a big emotion, and growing up those were always dangerous. I think big emotions also should be fleeting, whether good or bad. Contentment is what I tend to look for these days. It feels comfortable (now I have come to recognise it) and achievable, which is a big step forward.

I am so sorry you are feeling alone right now. I am glad you found us and hope that might help you feel a little bit less alone. Welcome.

  You're doing so well in not allowing it to discourage you. Hope you feel better soon.

Welcome. I'm glad you found us. I'm sorry you felt embarrassed and regretful after your interaction with the stranger at the dog park. It's fine to "spill" here. I hope that after you have had more time to process the interaction with the stranger, though, you may come to feel less bad about it. There are some positives to telling people things in real life, especially if you don't get an unhelpful reaction from them.

It makes sense to monitor what you are eating for sure. But I often find myself stressed at meal times for no obvious reason. It is something I need to discuss with my T. I have no conscious memory of FOO meal times being especially hard but I think they were and I just dissociated. If your family  had regular sit down family meals I would guess there was stress there even if it was an undercurrent. So if that was the case for you it might pay to work on that aspect, since clearly we cannot simply stop eating.

I'm glad you felt good at least for a while. Every good experience helps rewire the circuits.

I'm really glad you found that app and that it is helping you.

I'm glad you had a good day. I hope the low state is a blip in an upward trend. You're right, though, that knowing good days are possible is important and should give you hope. So I'm glad you have a touch of hope.

Hello, and welcome. I hope your upcoming appointment is helpful.

I think maybe you need to do some work with your current therapist to get your previous therapist out of your head. It sounds very unhelpful that he has left you with this additional worry. My suggestion would be first to remind yourself frequently, not just when feeling fragile, that the heart issues are managed and that you know what to do if they flare up (e.g. take medication, consult your doctor). Second, you might want to explore why this first therapist has managed to get under your skin in this way. For example you might be viewing him as someone in a position of authority and, given past experiences of people in authority, you may emotionally (if not logically) believe he knows what he is talking about and has every right to make these suggestions. And then work with yourself and your therapist to debunk these views. That therapist is not a heart doctor and has no business to be saying such things. It also does not sound to me as if he knows all that much about nervous breakdowns and probably has no business to be passing comments about those, either. Crying and wailing when dealing with painful issues is normal and can be very healing.

I don't have physical reactions of the strength you describe so my comments above are not from personal experience. I do have strong emotional reactions, however, and my therapist always advises me to examine these (in the moment if humanly possible) and try to work out where they are coming from. If their strength does not match the situation then they are a trauma reaction.

 

Welcome. I'm glad you found us. That experience with your friend really sucks. And you're right. It cuts both ways and she could perfectly well have contacted you. I'm sorry she didn't.

I have not experienced such sudden and intense reactions. However I suffer from pompholyx eczema that reliably forms on my hands at times of stress. Sometimes it is the first thing that makes me aware of increased stress, given I am so used to living with a pretty heavy stress level generally. It is only controlled by prescription steroid creams - over the counter strength does nothing.