Hope's Journal 2026

[Hope67]

Hi Chart, Yes, I also felt energized and stimulated by all the information and discussion - thanks again 

Hi TheBigBlue - Such a lovely big hug, thank you   

Hi SanMagic - Love and hugs to you too - and I am so glad that you've also enjoyed the discussions that have occurred here - I also felt like 'wow' - so much information and so well phrased - so meaningful.  I will be re-reading it - for sure!    to you, SanMagic.

Hi NarcKiddo - Thanks for sharing that you also find it difficult to read some content as well - I think it's the parts of ourselves that aren't necessarily on board with it - or maybe just taking longer to decide what they make of it.  That's how I tend to think about it.  Wow, I've just looked up the book 'Mother Hunger' - by Kelly McDaniel (a trauma therapist) - it looks like a really interesting book.  Maybe I will need to take a look for it - but I have several books still to read currently, so I need to pace myself! But that one does look very useful.  You siad you're re-reading it - are you finding it easier to read the second time, or still taking longer.    I've had an experience once where I literally 'forgot' that I had read a particular book before, and kept getting 'deja vu' feelings whilst reading it - to then discover that I had read it before - but most likely I was perhaps dissociated whilst reading it the last time...  The same with another book that I had underlined things in - not realising that I'd actually read it through in its entirety on a previous occasion.  However, I think that's not happening so much currently - as I feel like I know when I've done things, and when I haven't.  Sending you a hug NarcKiddo 

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29th January 2026
I've just thought about what NarcKiddo said about an audio book and zoning out - this makes me think that I've not tried listening to an audio book - and I wonder what that might be like to listen to a book that is about trauma.  I usually read things from paper books.  I'm now wondering if it would be a nice thing to listen to an audio version of such a book or not.  Wow, that's a strange thought - infact there's a large part of me that feels some anxiety about that thought.  I wonder why that is.

I asked my AI to summarise the idea of the 'Mother Hunger' book, and it said this:

🌿 Mother Hunger in a single line
It's the lifelong ache that comes from not getting enough nurturance, protection, or guidance from your mother, and healing means learning to give those things to yourself now.

NarcKiddo, if you happen to read that, do you think it's a good summary?  I've just put it there, as I liked what was written, and think I will definitely consider nurturance, protection and guidance to my inner parts/selves.

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What I've noticed so far about 2026 is that I feel more positive and optimistic about it.  This is a good feeling to be starting the year with.  I am grateful for feeling that way. 

[sanmagic7]

hope, i'm so glad for you that this year you are feeling more pos. really am.  i think that's the best.  love and hugs

[NarcKiddo]

I read Mother Hunger quite a long time ago for the first time. I did tell my T but it was a couple of years ago. She had not read it then and has not read it now but has clients who have referred it back to her as being helpful, so she recommended it to me. We were specifically discussing how to mother oneself. I reminded her I had read it and remembered it as being helpful so I am re-reading.

I have not got very far yet, but I am finding that I do remember quite a bit. At the moment it is about attachment theory, though, and I have read other things about that since.

The AI summary seems fair. The author is good at pointing out the various bits of advice that have been given to new mothers over the years. When I was little there was quite a fashion for letting babies self-soothe and cry alone so I cannot blame my M for thinking this one up, though I think the approach appealed to her more than it might have done to others. The author is particular that her book is not about not laying blame on mothers because people can have Mother Hunger even with a mother who loved them and did her best. But she may have followed unhelpful advice, or fallen ill, or whatever. Any degree of blame a reader might want to lay on their mother is left entirely up to them.

I don't think I am finding it easier to read the second time around, but it is different. The first time the whole notion of having damaging mothering from infancy on was quite new, and I devoured the information about attachment theory and so on. I think I struggled more with the ideas on how to mother oneself because I have such a negative view of what a mother is that I have resistance to performing that role for myself. I am coming round to the possible need for it, and finding a way of doing it without relating it too closely to my own mother. I'll have to see how I feel about those bits when I get there. I am also much more alive to my body's signals now and notice resistance. Before I might just have thought I was tired or whatever without noticing that I was always tired when reading that particular book.

I actually listen to my Gabor Mate audiobooks to go to sleep, sometimes. They are narrated by his son who has a nice voice to listen to. I thought listening to a trauma book might give me bad dreams but that has not happened. I am not prone to them, though, so you might want to beware of doing that yourself. You can listen to clips of audiobooks before buying and it is worth doing that. It would be grim if I bought a book and the narrator sounded like my mother! 

Hugs right back to you.