I start to ruminate and fixate on something when I am not listened to, what I'm saying is ignored, or I'm disbelieved. Obviously this can happen accidentally, I mean when it's deliberate - when it's like I'm being dismissed.
It's not common or rare, it's repeatedly happened, and often later on I will be proved right or someone more popular than me will repeat what I said and get positive feedback. On the times I get an apology, sometimes the apologies feel like the people are soothing their own ego by coming up with a reason why they couldn't have avoided ignoring me, or talking about how they would have behaved differently had they known 'to actually take me seriously'. It's infuriating and happens with both men and women, but more often with men.
I guess their default assumption seems to be that I'm exaggerating, if not lying, when there is no reason to assume that because I don't. My guess is that I come across as overly insistent from a history of not being believed at home, whereas to a normal person seeming insistent for no reason, could be a sign of lying. Or I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt - it's not everyone, it's often people who are a little self-important or expect a lot of sympathy themselves with little to give in return.
I know I can't control how others react to me, but afterwards I can't even control the fact that I feel emotionally alert / distressed for the rest of the day afterwards, and it makes it difficult to move on to other things.
Does anyone else deal with this and have any advice on how to self-soothe in these situations?
It's not common or rare, it's repeatedly happened, and often later on I will be proved right or someone more popular than me will repeat what I said and get positive feedback. On the times I get an apology, sometimes the apologies feel like the people are soothing their own ego by coming up with a reason why they couldn't have avoided ignoring me, or talking about how they would have behaved differently had they known 'to actually take me seriously'. It's infuriating and happens with both men and women, but more often with men.
I guess their default assumption seems to be that I'm exaggerating, if not lying, when there is no reason to assume that because I don't. My guess is that I come across as overly insistent from a history of not being believed at home, whereas to a normal person seeming insistent for no reason, could be a sign of lying. Or I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt - it's not everyone, it's often people who are a little self-important or expect a lot of sympathy themselves with little to give in return.
I know I can't control how others react to me, but afterwards I can't even control the fact that I feel emotionally alert / distressed for the rest of the day afterwards, and it makes it difficult to move on to other things.
Does anyone else deal with this and have any advice on how to self-soothe in these situations?