Hello,
This is actually my first post (on any message board ever!), so hey
.
After having spent most of my life (I'm a 21 y/o F) playing the observer and watching things play out for others from back in the shadows, I'm starting to find my voice and speak my truth and found that I'd like to share with others who have had similar life experiences. I say this because I've come to realise that I had been putting on a show of "normality" when interacting with others.
Hopefully, some of my experiences can resonate with at least someone and I can feel less alone in the world.
But one thing that has been of slight concern to me is the idea that healing from C-PTSD has become my whole life. I feel like it's the main thing I read about; trauma, the freeze response, dissociation, depersonalisation, etc.
It's really hard for me not to identify with it (rather than see it as just one aspect of my life - my health) and in some ways I don't want to acknowledge it's existence in my "new life". I don't want to act from a place of disempowerment and sometimes I worry that I'll attract predator-like people in my life if I'm not completely self sufficient. It's gotten to the point where I've practically put my entire life on hold (work, relationships..) hoping that I can be eventually be done with my C-PTSD healing, wipe the slate clean and live a normal life from then onwards.
Does this resonate with anyone in any way? Can anyone offer any advice or comments from their perspective? The more the merrier, it would just be very useful to get an outsider's opinion on my mentality from people who are actually familiar with C-PTSD first hand.
Thank you,
Ninabee
This is actually my first post (on any message board ever!), so hey
. After having spent most of my life (I'm a 21 y/o F) playing the observer and watching things play out for others from back in the shadows, I'm starting to find my voice and speak my truth and found that I'd like to share with others who have had similar life experiences. I say this because I've come to realise that I had been putting on a show of "normality" when interacting with others.
Hopefully, some of my experiences can resonate with at least someone and I can feel less alone in the world.
But one thing that has been of slight concern to me is the idea that healing from C-PTSD has become my whole life. I feel like it's the main thing I read about; trauma, the freeze response, dissociation, depersonalisation, etc.
It's really hard for me not to identify with it (rather than see it as just one aspect of my life - my health) and in some ways I don't want to acknowledge it's existence in my "new life". I don't want to act from a place of disempowerment and sometimes I worry that I'll attract predator-like people in my life if I'm not completely self sufficient. It's gotten to the point where I've practically put my entire life on hold (work, relationships..) hoping that I can be eventually be done with my C-PTSD healing, wipe the slate clean and live a normal life from then onwards.
Does this resonate with anyone in any way? Can anyone offer any advice or comments from their perspective? The more the merrier, it would just be very useful to get an outsider's opinion on my mentality from people who are actually familiar with C-PTSD first hand.
Thank you,
Ninabee