Sligeanach's journal

[Papa Coco]

Beautiful!!!!

[sligeanach]

That's really powerful, Sligenach. The one about the fist. Did you write that?

Thank you Armee. Yes that's from me

[sligeanach]

Beautiful!!!!

Thank you Coco :-)

[sligeanach]

Dog Everything

Need the equivalent for

Frustratingly inchoate, incoherent

Doesn't help that silencing is triggering

Need outlet, venting, expression

Full stop... Remove self... Express Rage in Contained Environment

Channel, Corral,

Crisis Management

Cortisol
Adrenaline

Dog Everything
Disengage
Disperse
Decompress

[sligeanach]

Nope, no good
Metaphor failure

Dog Everything = everyone participated in the emergency stop

[sligeanach]

What is my goal? If my goal is unclear, my tasks are unknown.

What is my destination?
If I have no destination, how can I choose a route?

[Armee]

I'm here and wishing I knew how to bring you comfort. I care and wonder what you are going through.

[sligeanach]

That is a comfort Armee, just reading that over and over.

I've been having dissociative episodes, or maybe one long episode of varying intensity for maybe two, three weeks.

I've brought home yet another book. "Living Nonviolent Communication: Practical Tools to Connect and Communicate Skillfully in Every Situation"

So I'm hopeful about that

[rainydiary]

Sligeanach, I hope that you find something that supports you in your reading.  I am not sure if this the same concept presented in the book you referenced, but earlier in my healing journey (and honestly still from time to time) I found the feelings and needs inventory from this site helpful:
https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/feelings-inventory

[sligeanach]

Hi Rainy, yes it is the same

[sligeanach]

"reverse the polarities"
It's a trope
Why is it a trope?
Because it's a truth
The energy is flowing backwards
Just as Evil is the reverse of Live

[Armee]

Dissociation sucks.

It sucks because it's very hard to stop once it starts. It's hard to have the presence to do what you are supposed to do when you are dissociated.

For me I need to find a way to laugh and I need to tell someone the thing that made me dissociate even if I don't 100% know. Usually what happens is I tell and then I feel stupid and ashamed but I know how to deal with those. Can't say it's the healthiest solution. And usually working up to telling makes it worse.

I hope your dissociation lifts soon and little by little it lessens in intensity.

[sligeanach]

I've yet to achieve the ability to know I'm dissociative on my own

I'm told and then react in a manner akin to the stages of grief

It ends with heartrending cleansing tears
Once I'm told, I know it hasn't ended until the tears come

When at last they do, the world is washed clear and I'm myself again, for a while

[Armee]

Wow. That must feel really intense, once you are able to feel again. Thanks for sharing that.

[sligeanach]

It does. I'm still awaiting it. I'm currently shifted from denial/fighting to fragile/spacy

It's strange having awareness of it, it's new to me

Perhaps it's progress